MOVIE THEATER—Bam! Wham! Slap! Stab! No! These are just some of the sounds made by characters when they die in movies and television. On-screen deaths RULE. Even though we do not condone the death of anyone (except Saddam Hussein), we have to give it up for the times in movies when our favorite characters died epic deaths. Check out the list below of our nine absolute favorites.
9. Boromir In Lord Of The Rings
Boromir absolutely gets his shit rocked. He takes arrows to the dome, to the chest, to the eyeballs, to the ballsack. Brutal! We love it. Fantasy movies are our favorite, and this death is a masterpiece. You gotta love it. And if you don’t, you can take your ass on home, son!
8. Alex Forrest In Fatal Attraction
Woof. This is a brutal one. We have to cover our eyes during it. But we love it all the same. One of the best movies we’ve ever seen with the word “fatal” in its title. No doubt about that brothers and sisters. Anybody want to hang out later? We’re free after 6.
7. The Terminator In Terminator 2
Well, look at us, getting emotional over a goddamn robot. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a legend for this one. He plays The Terminator so well. And he’s got awesome glasses to boot. This kid can really act, folks. Gather around and watch the master at work.
6. Quint In Jaws
Quint! You stupid idiot. Get away from the big ass shark. Seems pretty simple to us. But not everyone has got the Men’s Humor IQ. We’re hovering just above 100, higher than average! If you really think about it, that’s pretty impressive. Anyway, a lot of blood and guts in this one. Children, beware!
5. Lester In American Beauty
Lester, we waited all movie for you to die. Good riddance.
4. Hagrid In Harry Potter
Technically, Hagrid doesn’t die in Harry Potter. But we sure as shit wish the half-giant had been lit up by an AK-47 or a big ass grenade. This thick slab of bacon could have been pan-seared and served up to the Death Eaters on an English Muffin for all we care.
3. Tony Montana In Scarface
Say hello to my little DEATH! Tony Montana gets torn to shreds in this epic gangster movie we can’t stop telling girls about late at parties when most people have already gone home.
2. The Chestburster In Alien
If you don’t like this death, you don’t like the cinema. Enough said.
1. Random Dude In This Is The End
This scene makes us laugh and laugh. Epic death, good sir.
Like this list of on-screen deaths? Check out the most powerful dogs in the U.S.!