A Rapper Got SLAMMED For Eating A Dead Cat—And Believe It Or Not, It Wasn’t Jay-Z

by Mad Dog

ATLANTA — Well, I hope you weren’t planning on eating dinner tonight because you are about to lose your appetite. The female rapper Azealia Banks, best known for her song ‘212’, apparently dug up her dead cat and boiled it on Tuesday morning. It’s easy to think Jay-Z might have done something like this, but nope, it was Azealia.

Yep, it’s absolutely twisted.

Boiled cat sounds freakin’ nasty! via Giphy

Now, these clips are too grim to share on our humble website. But trust us when we say, we’re doing you all a favor by not sharing it. Instead, we’ll describe it with our gorgeous words.

At first, Azaelia is on her hands and knees in the dirt, clawing at the mud with her bare hands. Then, she pulls out a sack. Which, based on her caption for the now-deleted video, is full of cat:

“A lot of you guys don’t know, Lucifer the cat died three months ago, and we had to put him in the ground, and we’re digging him up for the very first time,” she explains to the unfortunate audience. “She’s coming back to life c****”

Would this have been a better video if Jay-Z did it?

Yes, definitely. No question. Just imagine the 99 Problems rapper stuffing his face full of cat. That’s ten thousand times better than the unknown Azealia Banks. Hell, we’d even take Big Sean over Azealia Banks. It totally stinks that a virtually unknown rapper did something this insane as opposed to the King Of Brooklyn.

Imagine the album Beyonce would come out with if Hova had done this. It would certainly put Lemonade to shame. And that album was a goddamn masterpiece as far as Men’s Humor is concerned.

Does Men’s Humor agree with what Azealia did?

Hell to the no. Cats belong uneaten in our humble opinion. So, please, before eating a cat, go to your pantry and grab a Pop-Tar instead please! And if you’re Azealia Banks, please don’t eat another cat, dead or alive. That would be majorly messed up. Nonetheless, ‘212’ is still a good tune!