Ben Affleck Has A Reason For Playing Batman That Will Make Your Dad Look Like SHIT

by Tim K

AFFLECK, MANSION — If you think your dad is an alright guy, you might wanna think again: According to ET Canada, Ben Affleck decided to play Batman so his kids would think he’s cool.

Holy shit, that is sick! What has your Dad ever done, huh? What, go to work every day? Trudged through decade after mundane, unglamorous decade just so he could give you as much as he could, as much as his measly lot in life would allow?

Fuck that! We want Affleck! Affleck as Dad is better!!!

“I did Batman because I wanted to do it for my kids,” the View Askewniverse regular said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter‘s “Awards Chatter” podcast

Additionally, he noted, ”I wanted to do something that my son would dig. I mean, my kids didn’t see ‘Argo.’”

So cool. SO cool! And to think, that whole time Affleck was crushing fatherhood by being Bruce Motherfuckin’ Wayne, where was your weaselly old man? Waking up before sunrise to the sound of an alarm clock he hated? Driving to work in a piece of shit car he couldn’t afford to replace? Why? For what? To pay a mortgage on a house that was falling apart, a house so shitty and small and crammed that you were too embarrassed to even bring your friends over?

Fuck all that noise! Some dads are Batman! From movies!!!

Affleck’s Father-of-the-Century bid doesn’t end there, though.

He continued, “I wore the [Batman] suit to my son’s birthday party, which was worth every moment of suffering on ‘Justice League,’

Yep, that just about does it. Ben Affleck is the BEST dad ever, and your dad isn’t man enough to hold his jockstrap! Why didn’t your dad do more?! Why? He should have been Batman!!! Sounds like he is just not willing to go the extra mile to prove that he loves you. Sorry!