Too Gay To Pardon? Tiger King FURIOUS Over Presidential Snub

by Gorman

He’s not done yet! The Tiger King is back in the headlines, not two days after Donald Trump neglected to include him in his official list of presidential pardons. According to a story from the Los Angeles Times, “Exotic was sorely disappointed Wednesday when he was excluded from the list of pardons and commutations that came during Trump’s final hours in office. ” Mr Exotic quickly took to twitter to express his frustration and accuse the former President of refusing his pardon because he is gay. Also too innocent.

The tweet makes some bold claims, but they aren’t exactly without substantiation. It’s not like Trump didn’t pardon a whole slew of ridiculous people. Still, many assume his vitriol is a result of disappointment, rather than fact. Mr Exotic has provided no hard evidence to suggest the snub is because he is gay. Or innocent.

According to a 257 page long pardon application that Mr. Exotic submitted (FYI, I guess pardons require an application. Get those letters of recommendation ready) he has long admired the President.“If I have ever looked up to anyone it would be you,”  he wrote. Damn, dude. Can’t believe your ultimate Bro Don would do you dirty like that! Makes us sick!

As a result, Joe will have to continue to serve out his conviction for attempted murder. It might seem bleak now, but who know? Maybe Joe Biden can help him out. That’s reasonable to assume, right?

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