Here’s Our Top 4 Rockstars We’d Love To Get Our Asses Whooped By, RANKED

by Tim K

Since the dawn of time, rockstars have periodically gotten really upset by something someone in the audience did and, in turn, beat their little asses. Today, there are a select few artists who have a reputation for this very thing — which can be seen in gruesome detail in the YouTube video below.

Watch This Video Of A Bunch Of Rockstars Beat The Hell Out Of Their Fans:

Of course, it goes without saying that we at Men’s Humor believe getting our teeth kicked in like that would be a tremendous honor. Can you imagine? Someone famous beating your puny little ass? So awesome!

Therefore, without further ado, here are the top 4 rockstars we’d be overjoyed to take a beating from, RANKED.


Courtesy of @ThisDayInDanzig Twitter account

He’s small, he’s strange, his music is neither good nor bad, and we want him to beat our asses the 4th most. After thinking this over for quite a while, we’ve decided that getting our shit kicked in by Glen Danzig would be cool, but not, like, life-changing. Like, telling that story to your friends would only be kind-of-impressive, you know? Personally, if I’m gonna my ass smacked around by a singer in front of a shitload of people, I want it to be a super-famous singer. Like, a singer that even my mom knows. That’s why Glen Danzig is #4.


He may no longer be with us, but that does not change that fact that we’d be pretty fucking stoked to take a few uppercuts on the chin from bassist and singer of the Sex Pistols, Sid Vicious! How insane would that be? Pissing off someone THAT legendary that he grabbed you by the throat and kind of tugged you around until security broke it up? Now THAT’S the kind of megastar even my family would know about when I told them!


Courtesy of Comedy Central YouTube channel

Now we’re getting to the good stuff! Henry Rollins, now famous for podcasting, being kind-of-in-shape but not really, and being a generally-annoying older guy, used to play in a band called Black Flag – and yup, while singing, he’d sometimes wail on some fans for a while. Why’d he do it? Who cares! All we know is that it’d be pretty rad to get sucker-punched by someone so famous that even my younger cousins would know who I’m talking about when I told bragged to them!


13956603 © Jeff Curry and USA TODAY NETWORK

Yes!!! Now we’re cooking with gas! Billie Joe Armstrong, the iconic lead singer of Green Day, once beat the shit out of some dude at one of his shows, as seen in that YouTube video up there. I know, I know… some people are so lucky! The thought of someone as famous and beloved as the “American Idiot” himself absolutely raining blows onto the backs of our heads and sides of our necks is enough to make us wanna dance! We love thinking about that!!! You better believe that essentially every parent in the world would know who you’re talking about when you say the King of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams kneed you directly under your eye, and that’s exactly why Billie Joel Armstrong is #1 on our list. Thank you, rockstars! Goodbye.