Larry King Is Out Of The ICU And Probably Looking To Fuck

by Mad Dog

If you’ve ever watched Larry King Live, you know who Larry King is. And if you do know who Larry King is, your heart sank last week when it was reported that the famed talk show host had been hospitalized after contracting COVID-19. But fret not, because there is some good news! Larry King has been released from the ICU in Los Angeles, which means that it’s only a matter of time until he remembers that he is able to have sex and begins to crave it.

“King was moved to the ICU on New Year’s Eve and was receiving oxygen but is now breathing on his own,” said David Theall, a spokesman for Ora Media (a production company formed by King).

Thank Goodness!

Although COVID-19 is especially dangerous for the elderly, the 87-year old news host seems to be in fine physical condition, despite the Associated Press reporting that King has suffered heart issues, diabetes, and lung cancer in recent years, which may also affect his ability to fuck.

Now, it’s unclear whether or not King wants to have sex now or sometime in the near future, but we would hazard a guess that the answer is the former. Just look at the flirtatious grin on his face right here.

Syndication: USA TODAY

That’s the tit-kissing smile of a man who is looking forward to some skin-on-skin action, if you ask us.

However, if Larry is not looking to have sexual intercourse, there are still plenty of things he can do to pass the time. For example, Larry could go water-skiing, or even cook himself meals like roast beef or macaroni and cheese. We’d bet that the man has cooked dozens, if not hundreds of meals in his life, and he’s probably pretty hungry after all that time in the Intensive Care Unit.

No matter what Larry chooses to do next, you know that Men’s Humor will be waiting anxiously to hear. We’ll keep you updated as we receive more information!