WATCH: This Squirrel Is Holding A Knife! What Should We Make It Hold Next?!

by Tim K

Okay, now this is seriously kick ass: a woman has captured a VIDEO of a squirrel holding a knife!

Yes! Oh, fuck yes! If it can hold a knife, you gotta think it could probably hold all kinds of stuff next! Like a candle, or, ah, I don’t know! What do you guys think?!

The epic video, courtesy of USA Today, clearly shows a single, regular squirrel standing on some kind of fence. It may look like a regular squirrel from far away, but from the camera’s vantage point, one major difference is detectable. The squirrel is NOT holding a pinecone or leaf, but rather, it is holding a big KNIFE!

Check Out A Squirrel Holding A KNIFE In The Sick-Ass Video Below!

Okay, this is officially epic!!! Yes! Yes!!!

But what else could that squirrel hold, do you think? We got some awesome ideas…

Badass Stuff The Squirrel Can Hold NEXT!



-one of those long-ass candles from church! That you light for people who’ve passed on to the next life!

cell phone charger

-kick drum pedal

-drum key (These are small! Could even hold two, one in each little strange hand!)

-Yankee Candle, those super heavy ones! They’re very round and stout.


-another squirrel.

Anyways, we could sit here all night and easily rattle off a bunch more cool-ass things that this squirrel can and should hold next, but I don’t have time right now.

In conclusion, it’s so exciting and fulfilling to see a squirrel hold something new for once. That this woman caught in on camera is a bonafide miracle. The internet has been won folks, and the victor is a squirrel holding a weapon. No contest. Better luck tomorrow everyone! The champ is here! Let’s hope this trend continues! Thank you! Goodbye.