Who Was Flavor Flav’s Absolutely Massive Blonde Friend? Remember Her? Seemed Like His Wife, Maybe? An Investigation.

by Tim K

It’s been 13 years since Flavor Flav’s reality television show, Flavor Of Love, aired its last episode on VH1. But all this time later, millions of us are still asking ourselves: Who was the real tall woman? Who Flavor Flav had around sometimes? Did she have a name, or no?

So many questions, so few answers.

Here’s what we know about Flavor Flav’s tall, blonde…assistant (?)

-Flavor Flav was born Willian Jonathan Drayton Jr. on March 16th, 1959 in Roosevelt, New York, and, despite his humble beginnings, would go on to have a giant, behemoth blonde woman who’d linger around him a lot for no obvious reason.

-She was either super tall, or Flavor Flav is actually the size of a little kid. No way to know.

Courtesy of @IanWilliamJ Twitter account

-Her hair was blonde, short, and combed.

-She was so nice to Flavor Flav basically all the time. She seemed like a really good friend.

-The two seemed like they had a romantic relationship… except it also seemed like her role on Flavor of Love was to help Flavor Flav pick out a new girlfriend? Right? That part was confusing.

-To our knowledge, she was never on television before Flavor of Love, and hasn’t been since.

Our Best Guesses As To Who She Is / What Her Role Was:

-She’s Flav’s wife. As it turned out, she did not know about how Flav was looking for a new girlfriend, and when she found out that he made a whole TV show about finding a new girlfriend, she was super embarrassed and tried to play it off all cool, like she was totally down and wanted to help him.

-She’s Flav’s neighbor.

Anyway, I could easily think of a ton more guesses if I had more time, but I don’t right now.

In conclusion, no one knows who this woman is still, and may never know. Here’s to hoping all you Men’s Humor Internet Sleuths out there can figure this one out for us!