15 Hottest Girl Names That Guys Go CLINICALLY BONKERS For

by Mad Dog

Ever since the age of Shakespeare, humans have wondered if a Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet. What is the most beautiful name in the world? Well, according to the dating App “The Grade” we finally know the answer. They analyzed 100,000 users to discover which names get swiped on the most and we have the results below.

Fair warning fellas: you may go CLINICALLY BONKERS reading these names. Please have your family physician on speed-dial, in case you need to be sectioned over how horny these names make you.

[image courtesy of Business Insider]

1. Brianna

Brianna is definitely a hot name. We need to turn the A/C on every time we hear it. We begin to sweat profusely, experience shortness of breath, and cramp up in our frontal lobe. Good job, people named Brianna. You take home the crown, queens!

2. Erika

Erika is a close second and over here at Men’s Humor we totally agree. If we knew a girl was named Erika, we would love that. It would drive us loco. It would drive us bananas. Our families would need to tie us to the water heater, because we would be insane due to the hotness of that name.

3. Lexi

Be careful driving around the city with someone named Lexi, because every time you say her name, it’s almost too hot to bear. Thinking about the name Lexi is one of the most common causes of car accidents. We would not want you guys to get hurt or get institutionalized or something. Bronze medal is where it’s at for the cool name Lexi, though.

4. Brooke

Brooke? Forget about it. So hot. You know all about this already, playboys. The name is phonetically all that. And a bag of chips! Wow, we’re starting to feel bonkers just thinking about it. Very dizzy!

5. Vanessa

Vanessa comes in at the fifth place position and we respect it. Vanessa is the female version of Danny, which is an equally hot name for a guy, in our opinion. Go off Vanessas, and keep on grinding and having that name!

6. April

April is an incredibly hot name, but it definitely loses points because it reminds us of tax season. Undoubtedly the worst season there is in our opinion.

7. Natalie

Hey Natalie! What’s up with you? What are you looking at behind the camera? Is that your boyfriend or is that us over here at Men’s Humor? Ha ha. Just kidding, just kidding. It would be so cool if you wore a name tag right now…

8. Jenna

Jenna is such a hot name. We don’t even need it attached to a person. Close your eyes and imagine the letter J. Feeling bonkers yet? Yowza. Yeah, we’re getting the SPINS from how bonkers that makes us. Upper case, lower case, it doesn’t matter…

9. Molly

Hey Molly, you sure look a lot like Scarlett Johannsen. But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to let you know your name gets the job done for a lot of people out there.

10. Katie

Katie is ten times hotter than the name Katherine, and scientifically one hundred times hotter than Katrina. Good on you, Katies! Cracking the top ten is quite an impressive feat. What a name that is!

11. Laura

Laura’s the kind of name you hear once and instantly bust in your pants. That’s why the name Laura is here at 11 on this list.

12. Rebecca

Wassup Rebecca? How you doing? That’s a cool name. That’s a name you bring home to meet the parents.

13. Lindsey

Lindsey is a bit of a dark horse in this race of hot names, but we respect it. Go off Lindseys!

14. Taylor

Taylor should be way higher on this list in our opinion. Taylor is the number one hot name. That’s a name so hot that hearing it even once can result in bonkers-related brain damage.

15. Aly

Aly, we got nothing to say to you. 15 is barely scraping onto this list, but we respect it. Keep grinding and make sure you practice good beach safety! Doesn’t look like there is any lifeguard around…careful in the water. Tide can change in an instant. A name can take you far in life, but it can’t swim for you.

If you’re experiencing a concerning amount of BONKERS after reading this list, call an ambulance to take you to a hospital immediately.