Good Humor’s Viennetta—The Ice Cream That Was Too Sensual For The 90s To Handle—Is Coming Back

by Gorman

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NEW JERSEY – 2020 was rough. We’re not afraid to admit it. It was difficult to find comfort or solace in anything. For many it’s still challenging to find, as 2021 proves to be another astronomically difficult year. There is one small ray of hope, though. It’s cold comfort (literally) but according to Eater, Good Humor and the mack daddies over at Unilever announced they’re going to bring back Viennetta, a 90s dessert that tasted better than anything else that has ever been made or created on this planet.

We’re not being dramatic. We’re reporting this news with complete sincerity.

Those of us who remember the 90s (friends, Greg Norman, the Chicago Bulls, etc.) know exactly what this means. They definitely remember the commercial.

The Commercial

While waves of sensual saxophone music waft over our scene, the disembodied hands of clearly the fanciest people on the planet pass a champagne glass. It’s not filled with bubbly, though. It’s filled with Viennetta. A sterling silver plated cake knife slices the decorated ice cream loaf and clinks against the crystal. It a perfect example of some pretty decent early ASMR.

Then, a woman’s hands accept the frozen treat. Her painted fingernails aren’t chipped and her skin is unmarred by the calluses of hard labor. She takes turns between lifting a class of ice cream and a glass of white wine.

This is exactly what Viennetta was like, except you didn’t have to be astronomically rich to get it. All you had to do was roll your grocery cart down the frozen food isle. It was there, right next to the King Cones and Choco Tacos.

But one day, they were gone. They’ve been available in Europe, but American fans have had to go without for nearly 30 years…until now. It isn’t much, but we’ll take this good news. If you’re going to spend your money on something to ease the stress and take your mind off things, your options are this or this.