WEST LAFAYETTE, IN — Get ready to get pissed the hell off at a group of second graders. Turns out that a group of eight year old kids from Indiana got to send a science experiment into space. Men’s Humor could not be more jealous of these shitty little rat children.
How could this have happened?
It all started when the children were wondering if fireflies could still light up in the zero gravity conditions of space. Instead of just guessing, their teacher, Maggie Samudio, decided to hit up an aerospace professor at Purdue University, Steven Collicut, to find out.
That’s when this story gets absolutely infuriating.
Prepare to get angry…
Instead of just giving the kids a firm answer, Professor Collicut suggested that the students actually send some bugs into space to test it for themselves.
We’re sorry, but space is neither for kids nor bugs. Especially not when there are some adults who haven’t even gotten to go to space yet. Like us, for example.
And it doesn’t stop there
Apparently Blue Origin is allowing elementary school students to send experiments into low-Earth orbit if they cost less than 8,000 dollars.
A Montessori school in Colorado sent up a sensor package designed and programmed by students. More recently, an Alabama high school launched an experiment exploring microgravity. A school in Ohio even sent up a baby jellyfish into the cosmos for some fucking reason.
What the hell, man? Men’s Humor has a TON of experiments that we want to send into space, but no one is letting us do that. Why should some group of snot-nosed weasels wearing backpacks get to send bugs to space, when we’re not even allowed to see if a human being can kick flip in zero gravity? Bullshit.