Airlines Says We Can’t Bare Knuckle Box On Flights Anymore

by Gorman

It’s not easy to find a safe space to fight these days. Unfortunately, now the search for such a space has gotten even more difficult. It used to be you could get a little tipsy and slug a pal on your way to Albuquerque. You could maybe even punch your brother during a long hall flight to Ireland. Not anymore, though. Airlines want us to cut that shit out.

The FAA will begin enforcing stricter penalties against folks getting rowdy on flights. According to a story from the Associated Press, “unruly passengers will no longer get warnings. Instead, the agency said, it will launch legal enforcement actions. Penalties can includes fines up to $35,000 and jail terms for passengers who assault or threaten airline crews or other passengers.”

$35,000? But my buddy is barely even bleeding!

The Ban For Airlines Is Temporary

The policy will only be in affect until March 30th. That’s good news for us bad boys looking to get a little rough in the sky. The new rules are a reaction to a sudden increase in violence on flights in recent months. People have been violently refusing to wear face masks. Additionally, other incidents have been linked to mob activity in Washington D.C.

The decision is a welcome relief for airline workers who have had to deal with a lot of bullshit lately. The news comes on the tail of another policy change for certain airlines. Guess NO ONE can have fun on flights anymore.

This is most likely a case of a few assholes RUINING IT for the rest of us. Still, it’s good to keep the skies safe from those who would not consent to violence. However, it’s a shame we can no longer beat the shit out of our friends, family and colleagues in the sky. Kind of feels like we’re forgetting what makes America so beautiful in the first place.

For us at Men’s Humor, the mile high club will always be the act of getting in a cheap sucker punch on one of your mates. That’s just the way we feel.