Bees Are In Trouble! Britain Has Set Out To MURDER All Our Honey Babes!

by Gorman

LONDON, ENGLAND — The UK is at it again! According to a report from the BBC “A pesticide believed to harm bees has been authorized for emergency use in England, despite an earlier ban.” Apparently the world is suffering from an unprecedented virus threatening the sugar beat. Shit, viruses suck balls. In order to revive the sugar beat seed, Great Britain as well as other countries in the EU are lifting a ban on the chemical thiamethoxam, a pesticide proven to be harmful to bees.

Fuck that! We NEED them bees!

Yes, the bees!

According to a spokeswoman at the Department for Environement, Food, and Rural Affairs the ban will only be lifted for one year, but one year is still a long-ass time in bee years (we think.) The spokeswoman says the use of the pesticide “will be tightly controlled to minimise any potential risk to pollinators.”

Excuse me, ma’am, but they’re called BEES. Pollinators sounds so demeaning!

Why Bees Rule

Avid lovers of sugar beats are most likely creaming their dungarees right now. Regardless not a lot of normal God-fearing, Bee-lovin’ people are pleased. Literally one third of the food we eat exists because bees are such kings (and one queen.)

Milan Wiercx van Rijn (ummm, dis dude royalty?) from the charity Bees for Development fairly notes that “if we kill the insects which are the starting block of the chain, we’ll kill the animals higher up.” Animals higher up…you mean, like US? No way, dude. That sounds like a recipe for disaster and NOT a recipe for all the awesome food we get to eat because bees pollinate so much shit.

Awesome Food We Could Lose!

Here’s a short list of foods we would miss out on if bees bit the big one for GOOD.

• Blueberries (aww!)

• Alfalfa (the food, not the little rascal)

• Coffee (you won’t be able to talk to us until we’ve had our coffee. If bees are gone, that would mean you could NEVER talk to us!)

• Macadamia nuts (fanciest nut)

The list goes on and on. And while we freaking love those foods, the biggest problemo would be all the OTHER stuff we eat that survive on those foods. Like pigs. Or cows.

Ultimately, this would only be a year of ravenous bee murdering, but it will take a toll. Always does. Bees are terrifying, but they’re also wonderful, miraculous creatures and we need them to thrive. Let’s hope the sugar beat crop bounces back from this gnarly virus. We’re all getting our asses absolutely handed to us by viruses.

Want more food/animal news? Click here!