Ben And Jerry’s Is Going To Make Dog Food For You To “Accidentally” Eat

by Gorman

BURLINGTON, VERMONT — If there’s one thing the men over at Men’s Humor can all agree on, it’s that dogs are perfect and better than humans in every way, which is why it absolutely rocked our socks when the Associated Press released a story announcing that Ben And Jerry’s (both dudes) are releasing a line of dog food. Nothing but the finest for our earth angel puppies!

Thing is, it looks like the stuff is going to look mighty similar to the human food Ben and Jerry already make, some of which is ironically called Phish Food. Make up your minds, fellas! For better or worse, you just know this is going to lead to plenty of humans eating their dog’s food.

According to the press release, they’re launching the line with two flavors- peanut butter with pretzels (yes, please) and pumpkin with cookies (mmmmmmm, thank you.) The Men’s Humor office manager already put in an order for 20 cases of the stuff. And we ain’t got no office dogs.

According to the Lindsay Bumps, the global marketing specialist for Ben And Jerry’s, the company has been thinking about this for a spell. Side note, Lindsay Bumps (incredible name) is a certified veterinary technician. What a woman!

“Spending on dog treats has ballooned, jumping 44% to $5.5 billion between 2015 and 2020,” reported AP. Ben And Jerry brilliantly noted this trend, and that millennials love buying shit for their dogs. And not just any shit. Really good shit. The kind of stuff good enough for humans. This is why we’re going to be eating our dog food now.

Expanding The Pet Food Market

We hope dog food is just the beginning for B & J. There are plenty of other deserving animals that want to chill the fuck out with some ice cream. Here are a few more ideas for sweet animal chow.

• Cat food called ‘Meow That’s What I Call Ice Cream’

• Rabbit food called ‘The Land of Milk And Bunnies ‘

• Bird food called “The Molt Shop”

• Lizard food (cricket ice cream) called Mint Chocolate Chirp

Maybe the gang over at Men’s Humor should branch out into the ice cream biz too. We could Call It Men’s Good Humor. Just a thought (a terrible one.) Want more ice cream content? Click here!