INTERNET, ITALY — While many people are celebrating the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine, there is also a wave of skepticism stirring up in its wake. Is it safe? Is it effective? Is it a cover for the government to implant us with microchips that track our every movement and usurp our free will? According to Guitar World, a number of conspiracy theorists in Italy believe this schematic for a BOSS Metal Zone guitar pedal is actually a diagram for ‘5G-frequency microchips’ hidden inside the vaccine.
Italy-based software engineer Mario Fusco revealed that this image had begun spreading around his home country, filling the heads of his fellow Italians with sweet lies and deceit, not unlike the adulterous men of an Elena Ferrante novel.
“Here in Italy people started to share this figure claiming that this is the diagram of the 5G chip that has been inserted in the covid vaccine,” wrote Fusco.
“In reality it is the electric circuit of a guitar pedal and I believe that putting it in the covid vaccine has been an excellent idea.”
To the untrained eye, the diagram certainly looks evil—credit where credit’s due in that regard.
However, guitar players will quickly recognize a number of terms throughout the image that reveal its true nature as the schematic for an effects pedal: treble, foot-switch, volume, MT-2 gain, bass, etc.
Well, mystery solved! It’s a relief to know that the world’s most powerful governments aren’t incompetent enough to leak diabolical plans complete with helpful labels like “COVID-19 5G Chip Diagram – Confidential”. But it does make you mourn for the guitar players we’ve lost in 2020, and how much more tragic their passing is knowing how they could’ve helped debunk misinformation campaigns like this one. Italian conspiracy theorists could use Eddie Van Halen’s insight on geopolitical scandals now more than ever.