HOUSTON, TEXAS — According to KPRC, a daredevil woman in Texas “was miraculously left with just scratches and bruises after clinging to the hood of a speeding car in an attempt to save a $10,000 exotic bulldog. The dog had been stolen from a Harris County bulldog store called Bullykamp, where the hero, Alize James, is an employee.
It’s incredibly cool and honorable of James to go to such lengths to save a dog, but it is also exactly what you would expect from a good hearted American patriot.
According to James a couple had come to the Houston store to purchase a sweet, perfect doggy that cost literally $10,000 dollars. But when James left the couple alone temporarily to attend to other business, they stole the bulldog puppy. James came back to discover a nightmare situation for any employee (losing an expensive dog.)
That’s when James decided that this would not be the day she was responsible for something so unspeakably cruel. She ran outside and chased the couple, who were hastily entering their car with the dog who had JUST HAD SURGERY. James shouted for them to stop, but the man driving “lurched the car forward in her direction.” She then got trapped on the bumper of the car and began the ride of a lifetime.
For 10 minutes Alize James held on for dear life to save a sick, expensive dog. What a woman.
When the man finally stopped the car he got out and physically assaulted the poor lady. Fuck that guy to hell. James put up a good fight, but ultimately she was outnumbered by two human people and a car. The man got away with the 7 month old puppy.
The good news is they identified the female suspect as 21 year old Royshana King who has been charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon (a car.) The man is facing the same charges, but he’s currently on the run with an innocent, sweet, perfect little sick, baby dog. He will pay. He will pay if there is a God in heaven. In the mean time we can salute Alize James for going well above and beyond the call of duty for one of the lord’s most innocent creatures.
Alize James, you’re a Men’s Humor hero. Please contact us for your prize. Thank you!