Greta Thunberg Is Finally Old Enough To Join The Swedish Military!

by Mad Dog

2021 is officially going to be the year of Greta Thunberg! After turning 18 years old on January 3rd, the famous climate activist is now eligible to join The Försvarsmakten, otherwise known as The Swedish Defense Forces.

How did the Number One Enemy Of Fossil Fuels decide to celebrate the momentous occasion of eighteen years around the wretched, carbon emission-causing Sun? Yeah, you guessed it. With a kick-ass tweet clapping back at all of her many, many haters.

“Tonight you will find me down at the local pub exposing all the dark secrets behind the climate- and school strike conspiracy and my evil handlers who can no longer control me! I am free at last!!” She posted, neglecting to mention that she also could join up with the Swedish Army, Navy, or Air Force if she really wanted to do some good in the world.

We don’t think that Flat Mars Society shirt has anything to do with the Armed Forces, but we’re still rocking with you, Greta! Surely you will post a Tweet or Instagram photo in the coming days of you brandishing an automatic weapon in your brand-spanking-new military uniform, and we here at Men’s Humor can’t wait to see it.

Greta has always lived her life on the edge. From Tweeting at Donald Trump to “chill,” to winning Time’s Person Of The Year in 2019, she is always going hard and stirring the pot. “We can’t just continue living as if there was no tomorrow, because there is a tomorrow,” she told Time. “That is all we are saying.”

Preach it, Sis!

There’s no better way to live up to that quote than to take up the mantle of The Försvarsmakten, and defend the free world from terrorism, tyranny, authoritarianism, misinformation, and total war. We look forward to your announcement, Greta. Until then, stay safe, and we at Men’s Humor wish you the happiest of all birthdays!