Is This Guy Who Smuggled $34k Of Cocaine Under His Toupee The Bravest Man Alive?


TAMPA, FL — A Columbian man was caught using a poorly-fitting toupee to smuggle around $34,000 in cocaine through Barcelona airport security, according to a Reuters report. The man landed in Spain on a flight from Bogota, and quickly attracted police attention due to how nervous he seemed, as well as the fact that the toupee was sitting several inches about his skull.

Folks, there’s simply no contest: we’re crowning this man the craziest bald man to ever do it. All our readers with an even slightly receding hairline, please bow down to your new king!

In a public statement following the July 2019 incident, the Spanish police said that, “There is no limit to the inventiveness of drug traffickers trying to mock controls.”

Wow. The Spanish police sound mad! Clearly, our bald hero had no respect for their authority. You don’t walk into a high-security building with a family-sized bag of hard drugs on top of your head if you can feel fear. You do that if you want to send a message: “Go ahead. Arrest me. I’m bald AND insane.”

Name one genius that ain’t crazy…

A heaping bag of cocaine may not be suited for smuggling under a toupee, but here’s a short list of things that you could sneak through airport security underneath your mop-top:

• Coupons

• An 8″x11″ print-out of an elderly couple smiling

• A few puzzle pieces

• Very small, flattened roadkill

• Fruit Roll-Ups

If we have any say in the matter, our friends at GQ would amend their list of The 100 Most Powerful Bald Men In The World to include this man in the number one spot.

When it comes to people who are bald and insane, this man finds himself in good company: Terry Bradshaw. Voldemort. Karl Rove. Birdman. Who are some of your favorites? Let us know!