Protect Your Male Friends: Fan Blades Are Flying Off Ceiling Fans And Could Easily Murder Your Buds

by Tim K

HOME, DEPOT — If you thought Covid-19 was making it hard enough to chill with all of your best friends, here’s some news that’s making it even harder: According to CBS News, more than 190,000 ceiling fans sold by Home Depot are being recalled because the blades could fly off while in use.

Damn…could you imagine if this happened when you had all your best friends over to hang out? Honestly don’t even wanna think about that.

According to the recall notice posted by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, the fans in question — the Hampton Bay 540inch Mara Indoor/Outdoor model — were sold from April through October of 2020 for about $150. Most of these sales were in the U.S. and Canada.

King of Fans, the Florida-based product distributor, said it received 47 reports of the fan blades detaching mid-spin. Two of those reports detailed consumers being hit by a flying blade, and four more reports noted instances of property damage.

Consumers have been urged to stop using the fans immediately, and to contact King of Fans for a free replacement if they notice any “blade movement or uneven gaps between the blades and fan body.”

It’s definitely mad cool that Home Depot noticed the problem with the fan and alerted the public like they did, but still, I’m honestly having a tough time digesting this. It just sucks to think, like, what if they didn’t warn us? Was I unknowingly putting my day-one friends in danger?

I don’t have any ceiling fans in my house (the Dream Home I’m saving up for definitely will though! I can’t wait, I’m currently crashing in what’s technically a mausoleum), but so many of my friends that I chill with do. What if, while we were all chilling and shooting the shit while watching ‘The Town’ on TNT during one of our random Thursday night hang outs, one of my friends’ fan blades rocketed off and impaled one of my other dudes through the chest? Or neck? And then we all had to wait for paramedics to show up, totally helpless, and just saying a million Hail Mary’s in hopes our dude doesn’t bleed out?

For now, I guess we should all just appreciate the fact that Home Depot gave us a heads up about their fans, and keep our fingers crossed that there aren’t more death traps laying around that we DON’T know about.