Some Sort Of Sex Thing? Scientists Still Don’t Get Why Stonehenge Was Built

by Mad Dog

ENGLAND—If you’ve ever sat down on your nice outdoor deck while you were grilling and thought to yourself, “Hmmm, I wonder why those old ass British dudes built Stonehenge,” you’re probably pretty smart. Because it turns out that scientists, after doing a ton of research, still don’t understand why it came into existence, or even how it came into existence.

That’s pretty damn mysterious.

The prehistoric monument was erected sometime between 3000 B.C. and 2000 B.C. and some of the stones were even transported all the way from Wales for the undertaking. But it still doesn’t answer the question: why the hell was thing made at all?

“The short answer is that I don’t know and neither does anyone else,” said Rosemary Hill, a historian and author of “Stonehenge” (Profile Books and Harvard University Press, 2008). “After the First World War, when people started flying over the country, they started to see where these constructions had been because they left traces on the ground with their mounds. People hadn’t really noticed until they got a bird’s-eye view.”

Well, if the good people over at Harvard University don’t know the answer, we feel like we could take a stab at guessing why Stonehenge came to be: it’s gotta have something to do with sex.

Just think about it for one second, okay!

Everyone likes to have sex (including us), and people will do some pretty crazy thing to get their rocks off.. so to speak, ha ha. The point is, we bet that some old British dude was trying to impress a chick with his cool ass sculpture, and she for sure was maybe into it. At least we would be into that if someone tried to woo us with big rocks. Take the hint, ladies!