Iguanas In Florida Are Falling To Their Deaths From Trees And It’s About Damn Time

by Tim K

Here’s some awesome iguana news that’s sure to make you smile: according to CNN, as winter takes hold in South Florida, dropping temperatures are causing iguanas to suddenly drop out of trees.

Now THIS is what we’re talking about! Iguanas have been running around like a bunch of spazzes for too long, and enough is enough! Now SIT down on the ground! Cool it!

Iguanas can’t handle cold weather because they’re cold-blooded, so when the temperature drops below 45 degrees, their bodies go dormant. They appear to be dead, but they’re not…

…They are still breathing and their body functions are still operating (fuck!!!).  

But, who knows, maybe some of them will die when they fall out of the trees? Maybe a few here and there will land on an outdoor grill mid-barbecue? Fingers crossed!

For the iguanas, the real danger comes when temperatures remain below the 40s for long periods of time. If stuck in their dormant state for more than eight hours, the invasive species risks being eaten.

Yes! Oh, hell yeah, nice! That’s something!

Check Out The Awesome Iguanas-Falling Footage:

Take a seat, pussy!!! Clap that green ass on the pavement!

Furthermore, Ron Magill, communications director for Zoo Miami, said, “The temperature threshold for when iguanas begin to go into a dormant state depends greatly on the size of the iguana. Generally speaking, the larger the iguana, the more cold it can tolerate for longer periods.”

Whatever, Ron! You’re boring us to death! Let’s keep it moving here! In fact, just to set the mood right again…

Here’s Another Awesome Clip To Apologize For Ron’s Boring Quote:

You’re welcome! Yes!!!

In conclusion, it sounds like even though these little green pests are falling out of trees, most of them will not die. But so what? Shouldn’t we strive to enjoy what we have, rather than mourn what we do not?

Ultimately, a bunch of annoying fat little dirtball iguanas are falling out of trees and finally sitting still, and that’s all Men’s Humor has ever wanted. Thank you! Goodbye!