The longer they stay together, the lengthier it gets!
Every couple fights with each other but sometimes, the fight could be over the silliest things but could go on and on, like the following:
He wants to stay up & “finish watching” something when I can tell he’s sleepy, then he falls asleep and I’m watching it alone, I wake him up, repeat. To him, it’s “why won’t you let me fall asleep in front of the tv,” to me it’s “staying up alone while you sleep isn’t fun!”— Summer Anne Burton (@summeranne) January 9, 2020
My wife cannot, will not turn off the lights when we go to bed. Even if I'm already in bed and she just came into the room. Not even when she's closer to the switch than I am. Just can't do it!— The Inquisitive Investor (@84pg) January 10, 2020
The side of the bed... No sooner do I get comfortable with the side of the bed I'm ordered to sleep on, got my nightstand just right, barely used to the routine, when suddenly she starts talking my spot and I'm reassigned, my phone charger is confiscated... Ahhhhhhhhhh— Daniel Mallett (@Weldmaster80) January 9, 2020
Bed farting protocol. How far away must the other person’s flesh be from the emitting orifice before it’s not considered farting ON someone.— Dr. Imposter Syndrome (@Angstspork) January 9, 2020
Socks. Do. Not. Belong. In. The. Sofa.— Leah (@GoingWithNope) January 9, 2020
He fills the gas tank to 3/4 instead of full. Why not full. Why.— Han (@rehanna83) January 9, 2020
When the soap is a sliver, I throw it out. He tries to squish it into a new bar of soap. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I’m a 42 year old woman and I don’t want your mushy squished-on sliver soap. The end.— Fahrin Kermally (@FahrinK) January 9, 2020
He always licks the spoon that goes into the sugar bowl after he stirs his tea. Don’t lick the spoon! We only use it for tea! Why do you have to lick it! Stop licking it! And why aren’t you wearing a shirt at the dinner table? I’m living with an animal!— Gay Dad (@RykerStephenson) January 9, 2020
When he goes to the grocery store, he suddenly forgets about his wife & 3 children, and shops like a teenage boy. Buys things like 'salami-cheese', Pringles, a 2 liter bottle of orange soda & a single mango.— January Garnetson (@a_poods) January 9, 2020
It makes me want to flip the table.
Husband likes to hit snooze for a solid hour. I like sleeping for the entire hour and not being woken up 6 times (every 10 mins) during it and just setting the alarm for the correct time, not an hour early. He "can't wake up that fast". That's the 15 year (and counting) fight.— Rebecca Johnson (@r_johnson83) January 9, 2020
She removes eggs from either end of the egg carton, so eggs are left only in the center. I move all the eggs to one end, so when you grab the front of the carton, you're holding the center of gravity.— Tim Pierce (@qwrrty) January 9, 2020
We have silently been moving eggs back and forth in the carton for years.
My husband insists that clothes he has worn once are not dirty enough for the hamper but not clean enough for the closet. So he leaves them on the floor. We don’t even argue about it any more. Lots of eye rolling though.— Jennifer Thigpen (@thigrig) January 9, 2020
Me: I’m gonna read the last chapter of this amazing book & I want to savor it, so no interruptions. You good?— Renée (@Journalgirl) January 9, 2020
Him: on laptop, nods vaguely
Me: goes in living room, sits in couch, opens book, begins reading
Him, 3 min later, yelling: Hey–can you come in here & look at this?
He won’t use the last of anything because he thinks I’ll be mad that he used all of it. No! Use it, let me know you finished it and get more! There’s nothing worse than 5 chips in a bag, a shot glass of Oj or teaspoon of hummus. Yes, I have pictures. #petty pic.twitter.com/O0JB6AAfwT— The Future Ex Mrs Boddy (@ItsMeYorkie) January 9, 2020
Leaving lights on in a room you're no longer in. WHY, GOD?!— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) January 9, 2020
Also, Jesus didn't die for you to not close cabinets.
16) From @StiffArm3