18 Parents Shared Brutally Honest Stories About Raising Toddlers and We Can’t Stop Laughing
Raising toddlers entails having to negotiate with these tiny humans who only communicate in a lingo of their own, leaving us to decipher their mood swings and tantrums. They may be cute and extremely cuddly but they sure know how to push us to the edge and if you are a parent of a toddler, you know it all too well. Humor, patience and the occasional glass of wine help us survive the daily tribulations of raising these pint-sized overlords. These 18 honest and hilarious posts shared by toddler parents on Twitter will make you relate hard even as you roar with laughter.
1. Parents know it all too well
Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 18, 2023
2. Too good to be true
My 16yo said a girl at school stopped him in the hallway to ask if he’s single. He wants to know what that means.
— Uju Anya (@UjuAnya) April 21, 2023
Y’all, am I raising one of those goofy oblivious dudes who don’t know when people like them?
3. Awww, so rude!
I asked my toddler what museum he wanted to go to this weekend and he said “Grandma’s House” which is a way funnier burn than he ever could’ve meant but I respect it deeply.
— The Dad (@thedad) April 21, 2023
4. It's the experience that matters, Mom!
kids are so unnecessarily complicated. my kid asked for a bag of munchies chips just to pick out the pretzels yet refused the bag of pretzels I offered to buy
— kait 🌻☀️🍃✨ (@raisingkaelen) April 27, 2023
5. I mean, am I asking too much here?
At the beach today my toddler, in all seriousness, asked me if I could grab him an eagle (seagull) so he could pet it.
— themomessence (@themomessence) April 19, 2023
6. Oh! So, you hate the perfect life?
Imagine your life revolving solely around a napping and snacking schedule and still being mad all the time.
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) April 18, 2023
Get it together, toddlers.
7. NOT COOL!
5yo: mom carry me
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 21, 2023
me: oof you're getting big
5yo: oof you're getting old
me:
8. Pack of two!
Smartest thing I ever did was have two kids. They are currently asking each other to ‘watch this’ while in the pool. This shit is finally paying off
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) April 21, 2023
9. Who are you, again?
My six year old is watching a YouTube video about a topic that I happen to have a lot of interest in, and I asked him if he knew that I love this topic. He said, "I don't really know you that much" sir I -
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 15, 2023
10. The Toddler Manual says,
Sleep when the baby sleeps, scream when the baby screams.
— Annie Way (@Anniewritess) April 20, 2023
11. Hypocrite Mama
Just been absolutely told by my toddler- asked her to pass me the water and she shouts PLEASEEEEE 🤣 shouldn’t forget me manners I suppose 🥲
— Paige sumner (@Paigeysum) April 22, 2023
12. Oh no, Ma'am!
My kid just asked me who Missy Elliot is and I feel like it’s time for an AARP membership 🫠
— Your Vigil-Auntie Sha (@sha_merirei) April 27, 2023
13. Papa said, there's always room for improvement
I'm proud of my husband for publishing his first paper in Nature today, but I'm even prouder that my 10yo read the paper and found a grammatical error.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 20, 2023
14. How to not get away with a murder
My kids could never get away with a murder because they'd leave an empty fruit snack wrapper at the crime scene.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 20, 2023
15. No jokes here...
I love when people underestimate my almost 3yo and are like “is that a choo-choo?” And he’ll be like “actually, it’s a high speed bullet train”.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 20, 2023
16. Well done!
I didn’t think it was possible to move at negative speed until I witnessed my preschooler zipping up her own jacket.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 20, 2023
17. Tell me that it was absolutely necessary...
I told my daughter I had a crush on someone and she said “I’m not trying to be rude but why?!?”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 20, 2023
18. Experience of life...
My daughter apparently submitted a handwritten cover letter and resume to the daycare attached to her school to apply for a job working with the toddlers. She said she has 8 years of experience.
— star•gyal (@beequammie) April 21, 2023
She's 8 years old.
18 funny stories about parenting toddlers