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25 Caustic Comebacks from Teachers That Left Their Students Gasping for Breath
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25 Caustic Comebacks from Teachers That Left Their Students Gasping for Breath

Here are some fun and weird situations when teachers took no-nonsense and reacted with biting sarcasm.

There was always that one professor who would leave no chance to shoot their shot of sarcasm at us. They are the ones known for getting the attention of even the least interested students with their weird sense of humor. Reddit user u/davidhalston took to the platform to ask fellow Reddit users, “What was the most passive-aggressive email you received from a professor?” They shared a screenshot of a teacher's rather sarcastic reply to a student along with the question.

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The mail reads, “David, Congratulations on beating the previous record for being late to class by a whopping 6 minutes. The previous record holder was you.” The mail made everyone in the thread recall their bittersweet experiences of school life. Many shared similar hilarious comebacks from their teachers. Here are 25 such instances when all hell broke loose and professors couldn’t care less. 

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1. You know right 

"My wife and her friend were always five to ten minutes late for their first class. When finals came around the first question was: 'What is the start time for this class?'"- u/Channellocks75 

2. Sh*t happens

"One day, I received an email from a student that read: 'I am sorry I missed class, I went to the bathroom in my pants.' I have no idea whether he was being sincere or not but figured if he was going to admit to shitting in his pants, I'd take him at his word. When he attended class the next day we gave each other a silent nod and nothing further was said about it." -u/chyken

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3. Overachieving students

"Looks like you should reply that you're not content to rest on your laurels and intend to work to beat your record."- u/Redd_October

4. Dang those days

"Before emails existed, I had a professor give me a note with my grade for the course on it that said 'C, 15% absent.' I asked if he meant that 15% was taken off my score for absences because the syllabus didn't say that and he said, "No no no no, I figured since you missed 15% of the classes, you might want to go to the registrar and ask for a partial refund."- u/dolfan650

5. Win-Win 

"I had a professor call me out for not coming to class because ESPN came to our college for a video game challenge and I and a friend ended up winning the HALO tournament and our names were in a school-wide email. She made an announcement next class that I missed class to play video games but it was permitted only because I won 😂😂😂"- u/njexocet

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6. Ouch 

"Not an email, but a classmate once asked a professor, 'I'm just a couple of points short of an A+. Is there anything I could do to bump that up?' hoping that there was some extra credit. His response in front of the whole class: 'Yeah, absolutely! I'm glad you asked. You'd first have to invent time travel, go into the past and convince your past self to take her coursework more seriously. That might make the difference.' I still think about that a lot."- u/Frogcostume

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7. Impressive

"In my sophomore year of college, I struggled with Fluid Mechanics. My professor noted one of my answers with 'Simply unimpressed.' I was afraid of this Professor. I withdrew and passed the class with my advisor the following semester."- u/Mr_Skelly

8. Better late than never 

"In my freshman year, I had to turn in an assignment in-person. I’d never met the professor in person before, so I was surprised when she didn’t ask me to confirm my name. I told her my name anyway to make sure, and she snapped her head up and responded, 'I know exactly who you are because you walk in late to my class every single day.' I nodded and left."- u/ElleW12

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9. Recalling the dread 

"I had a literature professor like this. We’d go back and forth with passive-aggressive e-mails all the time. I never did that great in any of his classes but we became good buds. We still run into each other every now and then at a local pub and buy each other drinks."- u/LJScribes

10. Some shots of inspiration

I had a rough bout of depression one semester and bombed a test for my favorite professor (took his classes every opportunity I could, we were buds). It embarrassed the hell out of me. He just wrote, 'You're better than this!' on the front. I was so ashamed I let him down. I never failed another one of his tests."- u/GWindborn

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11. Snores didn't score

"In my first semester, we had private law on Friday at 08.00 o'clock. My favorite club was open Thursday and Saturday, so I was pretty wasted and sleepy every Friday morning. Sometimes I just slept. Then one day, I woke up to hundreds of people laughing and really loud snoring noises. My professor had just put his microphone into my face and tuned up the volume until I woke up."- u/GimmeCoffeeeee 

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12. Angels in disguise

"I was in my last semester of many and had somehow never taken the second half of English Lit 302 though I’d taken 400-level lit courses before. On the first day of the requirement-fulfilling class, the teacher started asking the class to answer questions about the materials to be covered. No one knew anything except me. The teacher whose Advanced Grammar course I had taken years before, walked out in the hallway and called me to come out. She told me. 'Don’t come to class, just write a paper of your choice,' and she would give me an A."- u/bad_possum 

13. Another dash of inspiration 

"'I'm amazed at you scoring so highly, I'd like to see you apply yourself and realize your true potential.' I'd been to no lectures and scored third highest in the class on my assignment. Got full marks on my next assignment and received: 'Fantastic, you are an anomaly in my teaching career.'" u/Ryanatix

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14. The rant we all needed to hear

"This always annoyed me in college. I had to take public transit, which frequently broke down, especially in rough Canadian winters. One time four of us came trooping in 10 mins late because we were on the same bus which got literally stuck in a snowbank and blocked an intersection and we had to hoof it. The prof went 'Well, everyone else isn't late!' Umm...yeah...because everyone else wasn't on that bus that broke down, they were on different buses. And do you think we're paying thousands a semester in tuition to just show up late for the sheer joy of it?" u/Sabbathius 

15. Situations and exceptions

"I had undiagnosed sleep apnea all throughout college which led to a lot of missed classes and late entrances. I think my record was about 40 minutes late to a 55-minute class. It's not always a question of work ethic or dedication, sometimes there are outside factors."- u/hiperson134

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16. Situations uncalled for

"I use to have a professor email after every single class with long tirades. Basically class would end, and before I made it to my next class (less than 15 minutes), I would be greeted with a wall of text about anything and everything I did. I couldn’t even take a deep breath without the man thinking it was a slight towards him. In the end, I ended up having to report him for harassment and our Program Chair was not too happy with him."- u/CryBabySlut

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17. Greek Shite codes

"One of my Literature professors responded to my email about requesting an extension due to the loss of my file with a Greek anecdote that was essentially saying 'tough shit, get it done.'" u/a-snakey

18. Some Savagery 

"I once had a professor skip her normal lecture and instead give a presentation: 'Your teachers failed you, their failure is now your problem. Write better or fail my class.' She then spent the class giving examples. It was savage."- u/panopticchaos

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19. Grace and Grades

After a final, my professor, Dr. W emailed me the following—word for word—with the subject line 'final exam.' 'Go to a chapel. Get down on your knees in front and say, Dear Lord, I know that I deserved a C in Dr. W’s class because I am unusually average.' However, through some gift of grace, my 79.75 translated into a "B' for this class. I am eternally grateful to Dr. W for his care for me. Amen." u/Trumooandpizzarolls

20. Made sense then and makes sense today

"Not an e-mail but we went to the library to check out books. The teacher made us check out three. I didn’t want to forget to return them so after the class I put them into the slot on the way out. Professor was behind me and was like… dude why. I just don’t want my graduation messed up by not returning a book I forgot about." - u/Cjninkartist

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21. Defo cray

"I got a Facebook message from a professor who basically said, 'I noticed that you skipped 9 of the 10 required labs for this course and was shocked you somehow managed to pass the final exam and project. I should fail you but I am going to pass you out of the kindness of my heart.' -u/dfos21

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22. We didn't expect that

"The professor assigned an online exam and she was a professor who was known to give lengthy notes on what you did wrong when she graded assignments—I mean paragraphs of notes. I took the exam which was basically all written responses. I got an F on the exam and, instead of notes, she just wrote the name and number of the tutor."- u/WillfullyOblivious

23. Nature's call was the escape

"I had one professor who taught a 2.5-hour lecture twice a week. I remember him scolding us for excusing ourselves to the bathroom, 'if you can’t make it a couple of hours in my class without using the bathroom, you will not survive in the working world!' Lol, fast forward to me currently typing this in the bathroom at work."- u/mikecanhang

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24. The dread of it

"My teacher: 'You have shown a lot of improvement but if you get full marks on every quiz, homework and exam from here until the final, you will still fail this class. Here is a drop slip, go to the address on the back and hand it to the man there.' Thank god it was an elective."- u/coranos2

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25. It is like that sometimes

"I had a professor who didn't show up to class half the time and when he did, he gave us a pop quiz on the spot after changing the syllabus and not telling us. What do you mean we're getting a pop quiz on a 500-page book we didn't know was on the agenda??? Ofc, I called him out. Their attendance was more atrocious and they still got paid. I told him I'm not getting paid to be here but here I am. I am paying X amount for you to show up though."- u/stranger_t_paradise

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