These women are killing it with their biting wit on and off social media. Here's a compilation of their tweets that are both hilarious and relatable.
It's funny how women comedians are a rarity and men are considered the funnier sex. These women on Twitter are proving this wrong with their biting wit. You can now allow yourself to sit back and laugh your a** off as these women deliver the most hilarious tweets we've possibly ever read. Here's a collection of a few of them that made us roll on the floor with laughter:
My husband gives people the thumbs down instead of flicking them off from the car. He reports that the thumbs down makes people even more mad.
— Abby Norman (@abbynormansays) February 22, 2023
Honestly wild thinking about 2013-2017 when everyone was like “simply replace pasta, which is a whole mela and will fill you up, with noodles made of zucchini, which have 5 calories and are mostly water and you will be starving. It’s basically the same!”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 26, 2023
Who is the hero who rented out a Shake Shack and hired a private saxophonist, please I must know pic.twitter.com/c60QieHbDh
— Julie Zeglen (@juliezeglen) March 1, 2023
I’m not arguing with anyone who has their own picture as their lock screen. I stepped out of line and I apologize.
— taurus girl (@jaxajueny) February 23, 2023
whenever i’m working @ my hotel job n a girl w colored hair n wearing crystals checks in i always try to put her in an angel number room like 333 or something 😭 so she can be like omg it’s a sign ✨
— jess (@oxojesss) February 25, 2023
Every day it’s like “turns out this guy we thought was bare minimum fine is actually a huge piece of shit. Here’s where you can stream his upcoming project”
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) February 8, 2023
the ai defenders love to ask "well what if you have a great idea for a story but you just don't know how to put it into words??" and i'm like "welcome to the fucking club called Writing"
— stillorangecrushed (@stilloranged) February 24, 2023
it's a well-kept secret but the actual reason people get married & make fewer friends in their late 20s and early 30s because a decade of adulthood is the point where the overall narrative gets too convoluted to explain to new people
— Ruth Hook (@ruthhook_) February 28, 2023
For the last 20 minutes my scaredy-cat dog has been audibly farting and running around the room trying to escape from the sounds of her own butthole. This is the pinnacle of human comedy.
— Xu 徐 (@Hellotherexu) February 27, 2023
My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 7, 2023
many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman"
— ر ت ت ت (@raniawrites) February 19, 2023
My dad actually took me to my first appointment at the transgender clinic and I was like "This is so cool of you, it's like we're going to Thunderdome! 'Two men enter, one man leaves'"
— Brandy Bryant🏳️⚧️ (@InkMasterbator) February 15, 2023
“I love sleeping” is the most euphemistic way of saying “I can’t stand being alive”
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) February 27, 2023
queer women are like “I know a spot” and give you keys to their apartment
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 28, 2023
TurboTax: What did you pay last year?
— Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr) February 2, 2023
Me: Attention to all the wrong men
TurboTax: pic.twitter.com/7xCvDZPbh8
me and my ex are both on dates at the same resturant and the way I’m seated i’m staring right at him and he mouthed “I’m gonna beat him up” lmfaooo I hate this nigga. I took off my glasses lmao
— bunny (@astoldbybunny) February 25, 2023
It finally happened: someone asked me where the library was in Spanish. I’ve been training for this since high school.
— Abigail Higgins (@abbyhiggins) February 8, 2023
three suited men in my coffeeshop. one of them just said, "my personal idea of progress is moving things forward," which is actually just the definition. everyone's nodding. guys like this are in charge of every industry and it's clearly why trains explode
— stillorangecrushed (@stilloranged) February 15, 2023
if i am in an uber or taxi or lyft i agree with every single thing the driver says. today a driver i had told me working out is the best pharmaceutical and that our bodies are pharmaceutical companies that pump out the best drugs and i said “absolutely true”
— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) February 5, 2023
23 yr old just came up to me and said “hope it’s ok that I say this but I’m really into older women” so excuse me while I go kms
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 4, 2023
kids today don't know how lucky they are to have everyone spilling all the details of their lives on TikTok, back in my day people changed their relationship status to "complicated" and posted a status that said "not okay, don't ask" and we just never got to find out who cheated
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) February 24, 2023
So… a girl got her hair done, got in a fight, snatched her opponents wig, brought it in to her stylist with her original wig hanging off, and got her opponents wig installed 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 WTF y’all young bitches got it
— MariMichann (@_MariTaylor) February 19, 2023
Tiktok comment: Is that vase from Target?
— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) February 15, 2023
Reply in the form of a video: Ok you guys I know I look crazy, just ignore that, I don't know what the filter is doing. It's been a long day. So I've been getting a lot of people, um, asking if that vase I showed is from Target. Firstly,
EVERYONE STOP WHAT THEYRE DOING AND LISTEN TO ME!!!!
— Imani Barbarin, MAGC | Crutches&Spice ♿️ (@Imani_Barbarin) February 21, 2023
WE ALL KNOW TO MUCH ABOUT ONE ANOTHER. https://t.co/chjfJqxtPf
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