"When your mom dropped you off at school this morning she got fined because they thought she was littering."
Every single time we take a shower, apart from giving a very realistic interview for our delusional achievements, we think of all the comebacks and savage replies we could've and should've given. But no, they hardly come to us at the right time when we need to lighten the mood or put someone in the right place.
No worries, we'll prepare for the next time someone tries insulting you and you need to make humor out of the situation (provided you deal with that social anxiety stopping you from saying it). Subreddit r/AskReddit had a question posted on it by u/depressed_jellybear, which read: "What's the best insult you've ever heard?"
We've compiled the best and most savage comebacks people shared in response for you to chortle away to.
"Some guy on Reddit says he had fornicated with OPs mother. OP replies 'Im happy to know that I'm no longer her biggest disappointment.' I haven't heard any insult that epic before or since." -u/Ryno5150
"A colleague of mine was told the following by a waitress when he had tried to hit on her. 'You have more d**k in your personality than you do in your pants.'" - u/DanteBMerkley
"16-year-old me trying to convince my dad to take my friends and I to see 'American Pie.' Dad: so what is it about? Me: A group of high school friends trying to lose their virginity. Dad: I can stay home and see that." -u/Theromented1
"You're not the dumbest person I've ever met, but you better hope he doesn't die." -u/Trick-Reveal-463
"Bunch of quite pretentious people getting out of a limo at a club and pretending they're more than they are to get in ahead of the line, bouncer quips 'Can always tell clowns, all arriving in the same car.'" -u/preferablyoutside
"I was at a pool in Vegas and wearing a straw cowboy hat with my shirt open. One friend said 'damn, how can you not get laid with that outfit today?' Other friend said 'don't worry, he'll show us.'" - u/randomvegasposts
"Was playing Pavlov(vr game) with a group of people, one of which was this very annoying kid who kept saying something like 'You're bad because you're adopted' and such like that. He did that to one dude, and the guy replies something like 'I'd return the insult, but that'd imply someone wanted you.'" - u/ClaireBear13492
"My favorite of all time was from roast me. Guy was wearing a checkered shirt and the line was: 'Thanks for wearing graph paper so we can calculate the exact waste of space.' -u/LNinefingers
"It's because of people like you, that they still print instructions on shampoo bottles." -u/The_TravellerJ
"You've got a face for radio, and a voice for writing." -u/mike_e_mcgee
''I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.'' -u/scottcree486
"When your mom dropped you off at school this morning she got fined because they thought she was littering." -u/NucularOrchid
"Your mama is so slow, it took her 9 months to come up with a joke." -u/BroNizzle
"Your papa so smart, he made the joke in 10 seconds." -u/HollowCap456
"Context aside, someone once told me I look like I go to the park to punch birds." -u/TheRoamingWeeb
"I envy the people who've never met you." -u/Back2Bach
"When I was in high school, one of my classmates gave our teacher a typical 'your mom' response to a question without realizing the teacher's mother had just died. Without missing a beat, the teacher said 'leave my mother out of this. I don't make fun of your parents, and look what they produced.'" -u/HopeDeferred
"Teacher of mine once said to a classmate who kept making the most asinine contributions to the conversation: 'You make it really difficult to underestimate you.' The guy had no idea what it meant, he thought it was a compliment." -u/robbycakes
"I'd challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed." -u/therome_88
"When I was 16, I accidentally cut a woman off and she screamed out her car window at me 'Who did you f**k to get your license!?!?' I laughed so hard. It really stuck with me." -u/notade50
"If you were a spice, you'd be flour." -u/UncleSquach
"They'd need a recipe for making ice cubes." -u/thepiecesaremoving
"You eat corn the long way." -u/KingGuy420
"I hope you have the day you deserve." -u/Adcro
"When somebody says 'see you soon' and they respond 'not if I see you first.'" -u/JeanValJohnFranco
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