25 Dark Jokes You’ll Only Sinisterly Laugh at if You’re a Genius

Challenging times come and go and sometimes we can only laugh it off, even if it means getting a little dark. It's fine to laugh at them alone or with a group of like-minded friends. Dark jokes aren't everyone's cup of black coffee, but laughing at them could indicate a genius mind, says Reader's Digest. A new study published in the journal Cognitive Processing suggests that your reaction to dark humor could reveal your intelligence. A group of psychologists concludes in the paper that people who enjoy dark humor or "humor that treats sinister subjects like death, disease, deformity, handicap or warfare with bitter amusement" may have higher IQs, lower aggression and resist negative feelings more effectively than those who dislike it. Regardless of whether you're a genius, there's no harm in letting off steam with some dark humor on bad days. Here are some dark jokes shared by Reader's Digest that you'll apparently only laugh at if you're a genius with a morbid sense of humor.
1. I don't have a carbon footprint.
I just drive everywhere.
2. When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
3. I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
4. Today I made a decision to go to my childhood house. I asked the residents if I may come inside because I was feeling nostalgic. However, they refused and slammed the door on my face.
My mother and father are the worst.
5. Well, it is true that humans eat more bananas than monkeys just as recent research suggests.
I agree because I can't remember when I last enjoyed eating a monkey.
6. Do you know the very last thing my grandfather stated to me earlier than he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
7. Why do vampires seem sick?
They're always coffin.
8. When my uncle Frank died, he needed his ashes to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His final wish was to be Frank in Stein.
9. My mother said one man's trash is another man’s treasure.
Turns out I'm adopted.
10. Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?"
I replied, 'I'm still deciding.' They looked horrified.
11. "I work with animals," the man says to his date. "That's so sweet," she replies.
'I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?' 'I'm a butcher,' he says.
12. I have a fish that can break dance.
Just for 20 seconds though and only once.
13. I have a joke about trickle-down economics.
But 99 percent of you will never get it.
14. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
15. My boss said to me, "You're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"
I said, 'I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.'
16. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
17. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone.
It's either terrible news or great news.
18. "What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.
The student answered, 'No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real j**k.'
19. Wife: "I want another baby."
Husband: 'That's a relief, I also really don't like this one.'
20. Imagine when you walked into a bar and there was a lengthy line of individuals ready to take a swing at you.
That's the punch line.
21. A child was determined to burn his home down. His dad watched with tears in his eyes.
He put his arm across the mother and stated, 'That's arson.'
22. What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?
Its butt.
23. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working."
I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
24. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, 'You may be a talking tree but you will dialogue.'
25. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.