These 25 'Dad Jokes' by Fathers Who Are Learning the Ropes of Parenthood Will Make You Snort Uncontrollably
We all enjoy dad jokes. It's fine, you can admit it. We frequently mistake dad humor for corny jokes and puns but dads frequently say really funny and witty things that make us genuinely laugh. We also know that even the corniest of jokes can be quite enjoyable. In fact, when someone asked me what I'd had inherited from my dad's genes, I had to admit that I inherited some dad jokes. A few fathers who can't imagine their lives without humor took to social media, transforming dad humor into a whole category of Twitter jokes. These men may come from different worlds, work in different professions and have different ideologies in life but one thing they all have in common is their relatable dad lives which require them to cope with some humor. The internet is so full of dad jokes that you could have them compete with each other. Well, you can choose a winner from these 25 tweets that we have shortlisted for you which are high on the dad quotient.
1. Any dad would do this
Overheard my daughter’s friend on FaceTime telling her Dad to please stop singing because he’s embarrassing her so obviously I did what any Dad would do and finished the chorus for him.— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) September 30, 2021
2. Dad grade
My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we don’t get a good grade on our daughter’s science fair project.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 11, 2022
3. A great recipe for disaster
Great British Bake Off but you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help.— Abraham Gutman (@abgutman) January 23, 2022
4. Wait for it
“Dad isn’t it weird that the word chicken can mean an animal or a type of food?”— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) March 29, 2021
- my kid, on the verge of making a horrific realization
5. How dare they
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me— Grant Tanaka: Honky (@GrantTanaka) January 29, 2021
6. Too wet of a bath
Things that made my toddler cry this week:— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 8, 2019
- I wouldn't let the dog drive him to daycare
- the bath was "too wet"
- he wanted syrup for breakfast...just syrup
- his sister "keeps looking at him"
- he wants shoes like his friend Jacob (there is no Jacob)
How about your kid?
7. Meaty meatball
[At dinner]— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 3, 2016
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it's 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*
8. Loan shark
Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) September 21, 2022
9. Understood now
I never understood how the little drummer boy’s parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 6, 2021
10. Sums it up
Half of parenting is just moving cups away from the edge of the table— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) September 5, 2021
11. Tried and tested
My 4 year old asked what happens when you drive over a stick of butter. I said, it’ll flatten. He asked how I knew. And that’s how we got here. So what I’m saying is, when we have a hypothesis in this house, we test it. I’m also saying, my wife is away. pic.twitter.com/cHX5KXC3re— Nick Vitanza (@VitanzaNick) May 31, 2021
12. Just saying
I'm not saying that my wife orders a lot from Amazon, I'm just saying that if I got a job as a UPS driver they'd probably let me work from home.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 14, 2022
13. More witnesses
One good thing about having kids is when you screw up dinner, now you have more people to tell you— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 13, 2019
14. Sad dad joke
[holding newborn as the nurses stitch my wife back up, change her sheets, inject her with pain meds, explain she needs a transfusion bc she lost a lot of blood during the 37 hour labour] we should name him after me— brent (@murrman5) October 7, 2022
15. True happiness
The only thing that brings more joy than the laughter of a child is when the morning school bus comes to take them away.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 9, 2020
16. Good plan
Forgot to mute myself on a Zoom call while my kids were home and my boss gave me three extra weeks of vacation.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 2, 2023
17. Parenting 101
Parenting 101 when your kids are sick:— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) December 2, 2019
1.) Kids have common cold.
2.) Kids sneeze on you as you care for them.
3.) Three days later, kids are better but you and your spouse now have Ebola.
18. The best way
when you really need your toddler to stop asking questions for just two goddam minutes pic.twitter.com/zdKUch8yyL— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) September 2, 2021
19. Mermaid baseball
Me: You wanna watch the baseball game with me?— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 25, 2022
Teen daughter: No. I don’t like baseball.
Me: I didn’t like Little Mermaid, but I watched it 1,387 times. Now, go get your hat and jersey on.
20. Haunted house
When your toddler can open the door themselves in the middle of the night congratulations, you live in a haunted house now.— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 8, 2019
21. Where's mom?
ME: *exists*— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 25, 2021
KID: that’s not how mommy does it
22. Let that 'sink' in
The way my kids use toothpaste they’ll never have a cavity in their bathroom sink— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 8, 2021
23. Heartwarming threat
A young child's vow to live with their mommy and daddy for the rest of their lives is the most heart-warming of threats.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 17, 2022
24. Lot of pressure
My son has a shirt that says, “my dad can beat up your dad,” and honestly I don’t like the pressure— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 25, 2021
25. Father v/s dad
Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 19, 2022