Dad's Hilarious Conversations With His Four Daughters Has The Internet In Splits
Writer of comedy, owner of pigs and creator of Exploding Unicorn project, James Breakwell is also a popular dad of four lovely girls on the internet. He is known to explode a barrel of laughter whenever he tweets a "relatable" and "to-the-point" chunk of a conversation between him and his daughters. Despite the challenges and emotional rollercoaster rides, he demonstrates how much fun parenting can be. He shared in an interview with Bored Panda, "I convey my parenting disasters in a way that's relatable and, more importantly, short. Parents are pressed for time. I condense big stories into small tweets. That's why readers keep coming back." Here are 25 of the most amusing conversations he's had with his daughters.
1. Bad idea
10-year-old: Who's going to be the new queen?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 9, 2022
Me: They have a king now.
10: Well, that's a bad idea.
2. Other people.
Me: How was your day?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 13, 2022
12-year-old: Bad.
Me: Why?
12: Other people.
Me: Say no more.
3. Yes, yes, I do.
Me: Pick up that toy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 19, 2023
7-year-old: It's not mine. It's my sister's.
Me: I don't care.
7: Do you know what it's like to have to clean up after someone else?
Me: *looks directly at camera*
4. Everything is a source of knowledge
Me: How was school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 15, 2022
12-year-old: A kid laughed so hard soda came out his nose.
Me: I meant did you learn anything.
12: I learned soda can come out someone's nose.
5. It's always mom
8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2023
Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.
8: It's Mom.
6. Dream big.
8-year-old: What's your dream?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 25, 2022
Me: To get all my kids through college. What's yours?
8: To be friends with an otter.
Dream big.
7. Let 'em be happy
12-year-old: Can we have pizza tonight?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 5, 2022
Me: We had pizza last night.
12: You can let us be happy two days in a row.
8. Elite gals
My 7-year-old eats popcorn with a spoon so she won’t get her fingers buttery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2022
I'm raising first class kids on an economy budget.
9. Ain't got nobody to impress
Me: You can't wear that to school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 21, 2023
10-year-old: Why not?
Me: It's not nice enough.
10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. It's too late to impress them.
10. We before Me
8-year-old: Can I have candy?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 2, 2022
Me: No.
8: *hands me a piece* Can WE have candy?
Me: Don't tell your mom.
11. Was it?
Me: *takes the family to an 18th century village with reenactors*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 18, 2022
8-year-old: So is this what it was like when you were a kid?
12. Not desperate...just hungry
10-year-old: I'm so hungry.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 7, 2023
Me: You can have any healthy snack you want.
10: I said hungry, not desperate.
13. Feels good. You should try it sometime.
10-year-old: What's it like to be old?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 11, 2023
Me: I don't know. I'm still young and spry.
10: What's it like to live in denial?
14. Watch this!
I miss the days when my kids saying, "Watch this," meant "watch this cute thing I'm about to do" and not "watch this YouTube video you won't understand."
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 1, 2023
15. As I said, everything is a source of knowledge
8-year-old: That's a birch tree.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 1, 2023
Me: How do you know?
8: We have them in Minecraft.
16. Enough to last an eternity then
Me: How many Christmas cookies do you want to make?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 21, 2022
12-year-old: Enough to last the year.
Me: They won't stay good for a year.
12: Enough to last the year, but we eat them all today.
17. "Have a tolerable time"
12-year-old: I'm going running with my friend to get ready for track.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 6, 2023
Me: Have fun.
12: Dad, it's running.
Me: Have a tolerable time.
18. Just in a blink of an eye
Me: *gets home* Did you miss me?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 28, 2023
7-year-old: I thought you were in the bathroom.
19. What kind of people? What kind of hygiene?
Me: We have people coming over tonight.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2022
10-year-old: Important people or regular people?
Me: What does that mean?
10: Do we have to clean?
20. Wisdom score be zero
Me: Quitters never prosper.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 7, 2022
12-year-old: What about people who quit drugs?
I'm out of wisdom for today.
21. The entire thing down the drain
8-year-old: How are you feeling today, Dad?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 16, 2022
Me: Are you asking because you care, or because you're deciding if you should tell me bad news?
8: I dropped a whole apple in the toilet.
22. Hardworking girl
Thoughts and prayers for my 12-year-old.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, 2022
I asked her to replace the toilet paper roll and now she's now in tears because she has to do everything around here.
23. Savage...pure savage
My 8-year-old got really mad that I made a mess in her house on Minecraft and all I can say is that revenge is sweet.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 27, 2022
24. Being right comes with a price
Me: Do you have to fight with your sisters?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2023
12-year-old: Yes.
Me: Why?
12: It's the price of being right.
25. Valid point there...
8-year-old: I'm old enough to have my own phone.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 4, 2022
Me: I didn't get a cell phone until I was twenty-two.
8: That's because they weren't invented till then.
Dad tweets funny conversations with daughters