Bruce Springsteen Promises Fans MAJOR SURPRISE In 2021 (But It Honestly Sounds Like Bullshit)

by Tom Limo

NEW JERSEY — If you’re a fan of good old fashioned rock and roll, then you might wanna brace yourself for this sad story: according to ultimateclassicrock.com, Bruce Springsteen just teased his fans with a “big surprise” for 2021, but you can tell just by the way he said it that he has no game-plan at all for this, and is 100% jerking us all around like an asshole.

Come on, Bruce. Don’t mess with us, man. You clearly don’t got shit on the docket. Admit it. Why even say that?

The Boss himself caught up with SiriusXM’s E Street Radio earlier this week and dished on what fans can expect from him in the coming year.

“I have some projects coming up this year that I won’t tell ’cause it’s going to be a secret and then a big surprise,” he said.  

“But I do have things to keep me busy this year that I’ll be doing that should give the fans something to bide their time with,” he concluded.

Bruce, what the hell are you talking about? What does any of that mean? None of that made any sense at all. Here, read that first quote again:

“I have some projects coming up this year that I won’t tell ’cause it’s going to be a secret and then a big surprise.”  

Absolute nonsense.

The New Jersey rock royalty continued, going on to explain that – despite his promise that there’s some vague, “big surprise” coming down the pike – one thing he’s fairly certain of is that he won’t be touring in 2021.

“If things go as according to what Dr. Fauci is projecting, as soon as we can, we’ll be out there,” he said, referring to the timeline of getting the Covid-19 pandemic under control. “And that might be 2022, you know, somewhere in the New Year of 2022. So — and I’m completely projecting because no one really knows — but that’s what I think, according to all the information that’s available at this moment.”

Okay…? So, to summarize, Bruce Springsteen went on the radio, announced to the whole world that he’s got some major surprise in store for everyone, then proceeded to just kind of mumble his way through the conversation without giving ANY details about it?

Oh, and he also made sure to say he’s PROBABLY NOT touring this year. Great.

Bruce, buddy, I love you as much as anyone. The everyman, blue-collar pride that you exude makes me feel proud to have worked as a grocery store jack-of-all-trades until like six days ago. I’ve learned so much from you. Hell, in some ways, I like to think that I’m the Bruce Springsteen of Menshumor.com, or at least one of the top two or three bloggers in contention for that nickname.   

But why are you lying like this, Bruce? You know you don’t have anything cool for us in store. Are you trying to get our hopes up for no reason?

I hope I’m wrong here. It’d be great to get some sort of big surprise. But if you eliminate touring from the equation, what could the surprise be? What could get us THAT excited?

Short of doing some sort of medium ghost-talking thing, maybe over Zoom or Google Hangouts, where Bruce could tell his fans whether or not there are spirits in the room with them, I for one am going to be disappointed with whatever bullshit he cooks up.

That is, if he even bothers to follow through on a surprise at all.

That’s all I have to say about that. I expected more from you, Bruce. Thank you. Goodbye.

MensHumor.com