Dolly Parton Releases New Version Of ‘9-5’ Called ‘5-9’

by Gorman

Dolly Parton is a national treasure, and there’s almost no wrong she can do. That being said, Ms. Parton is partnering (Partonering) with Squarespace to release a new version of her song 9-5, according to a story from Vice. In THIS version, however the song is 5-9 and it glorifies the off hours grind. In theory this seems like a harmless celebration of pursuing your dreams, but the reality is grimmer. This song encapsulates corporate greed and we do NOT love it.

Work a full time job and then work some more! It’s the American Dream! Kill us!

The song is being used in a commercial that is set to broadcast during the Super Bowl. The commercial looks a lot like that Feist music video from a decade ago.

We love you, Dolly Parton, but this ain’t cool. The 5-9 grind is not so much about pursuing your dreams as it is making ends meet. We still love you, though.

Dolly Parton’s original ballad to the working man was released in 1980 in collaboration with the comedy film of the same name starring Parton, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda. 9-5 won Best Country Song at the Grammy’s that year and also earned Ms. Parton an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song. How the hell did it not win?

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