LOS ANGELES, CA — Well, folks, there’s some good news and some bad news today. Elon Musk, the South African technological wizard and entrepreneur behind companies Tesla and SpaceX, has officially become the richest man in the world at 190 billion dollars, which begs the question:
Why the hell hasn’t he given Men’s Humor any of that dough?
Come on, Elon. We’re not asking for a lot here. Maybe just one or two billion and we know you can spare it. Plus, we’re good for the money, you know that. I mean, Christ! He didn’t even mention our website and humor publication when he responded to the news earlier today on the website Twitter.
Um, Elon, we think you’re forgetting something and it starts with an ‘M’ and ends with an ‘H’ and makes everyone across the world die laughing (Men’s Humor). Don’t you even care about making people fell good with the power of laughter? This is deranged.
But apparently, Elon already has some plans for what he wants to do with his money. Said Elon, “About half my money is intended to help problems on Earth, and half to help establish a self-sustaining city on Mars to ensure continuation of life (of all species) in case Earth gets hit by a meteor like the dinosaurs or WW3 happens and we destroy ourselves.”
Cool, dude. Real fucking cool.
Were there even applications or any forms for us to fill out to try and get at some of that sweet, sweet cheddar? Because we certainly didn’t hear about it if there were. I mean, come on, man! Who gives a shit about Mars when there are memes to be devoured right here on the classic green-and-blue planet of Earth.
We get that you’re busy running your “businesses” but it would be nice if we could at least get a meeting or something. Until then, we’ll be doing what we always do: asking Jeff Bezos for some of his money.