SEATTLE, WA — Today is a bad effing day if you’re a lover of Microsoft products like the famous Zune music and mp3 player. It turns out that all the way back in 2000, Microsoft, the computer company started by Bill Gates, actually tried to buy Nintendo, the Japanese video game console company who created beloved Italian reptile, Bowser. And what happened next will blow your mind from here in the United States all the way to the frosty Oceanic waters of Japan:
The high up group of Nintendo executives laughed the high up group of executives from Microsoft out of the room.
“They just laughed their asses off,” Kevin Bachus, a director for third-party relations on the Microsoft Xbox, said to Bloomberg. “Like, imagine an hour of somebody just laughing at you. That was kind of how that meeting went.”
Holy crap. That’s brutal. What’s even more insane is that the pitch was actually pretty good according to those in the know. Just take a peek at what Xbox head of business development Bob McBreen had to say about the situation:
“The pitch was their hardware stunk, and compared to Sony PlayStation, it did. So the idea was, ‘Listen, you’re much better at the game portions of it with Mario and all that stuff. Why don’t you let us take care of the hardware?’ But it didn’t work out.”
Yikes. We’ve heard of rejections, but this is absolutely savage.
To be quite honest, we wish it did work out. Think of what a Mario and Halo 2 crossover event would have looked like on the Xbox. Or imagine if in Gears Of War you could ride around on Yoshi. Xbox and Nintendo would have been like peanut butter and jelly, but only better, because they are video game companies and not food products.