Take Notes, Al Pacino: Man Tries To Pull Off A Heist Like ‘Heat’ Using CORONAVIRUS As His Weapon!

by Tim K

RIVERDALE, GEORGIA – Get your writers ready, Hollywood, because here’s a story that’s meant to be put on the silver screen: Per Newsweek, an unarmed man just tried to rob a bank by threatening to infect the tellers with Covid-19.

Damn! This is so similar to Heat! With Al Pacino.

In a news release, the Clayton Country Sherriff’s office in Riverdale, Georgia, disclosed that a white male suspect entered a Chase Bank on November 28th and passed a note demanding the cash be handed over.

But no weapon was in sight. Instead, the suspect claimed to be infected with the coronavirus, and said he’d infect the employees, too, if they didn’t follow orders.

“The suspect did not display a weapon, but stated he had tested positive for COVID-19, and that if the bank did not comply with his demands, he would began to infect everyone in the branch,” the sheriff’s office noted.

“As the employees notified police, the suspect fled the scene empty handed.”

So badass! Hearing a story like this, you can’t help but wonder who this character was, whether he had a whole crew of his best friends in a van parked outside, and why things went so haywire during the robbery. And what could his driving force have been? What had led him to a life of crime? Some kind of bad childhood?

Hell, maybe this suspect and the town’s main cop even broke bread together at a diner right before this failed robbery, just like when Al Pacino and that other dude met up and talked for a while about life and shit. Maybe the robber and the head cop realized that, really, they’re just two sides of the same coin, the exact same way Al Pacino and that other old man actor who played the robber did.

With a heist story this wild, it’s hard not to think about it in connection to Heat. “She’s got a great ass! And you got your head all the way up it!” So sick! Heat is definitely my favorite Pacino performance. That and when he played Joe Paterno.

We at MensHumor definitely don’t condone this sort of behavior in real life… but you better believe we’ll be in the front row when Heat 2: Virus, or whatever, hits the box office! “Ya get killed walkin’ ya doggie!”