25 Morbidly Funny Final Statements People Hope to Make on Their Deathbeds | “Delete My History”
Why leave the world sad when you can leave it rad? Some people live by this motto. After all, You Only Live Once, so why not live it to the fullest? A handful of people exist to laugh and crack jokes, so what better way for them to leave this world than with a final joke?
Of course, it's easier said than done. But people like the late comedian Bob Hope knew the skill of dying with humor. Long after his passing, he's remembered for his hilarious last words. Apparently, when his wife asked him where he wanted to be buried, the legendary comedian quipped, "Surprise me." LOL. That's not all. The famous Irish playwright and novelist Oscar Wilde remained witty to the end. His last words still echo in the ears of his loved ones, including his readers worldwide. The ingenious man spoke the hilariously poetic words to friends in the weeks leading up to his death in 1900. He said, "This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes, or I do." Many other notable faces lost the battle with life in their unique style, uttering the most savage last words and making people laugh for centuries.
So an online thread asked people (who are living) what their chosen words would be if they had the choice to say goodbye one last time. We have handpicked the 25 most morbidly funny responses.
1. Oh yeah!
“Its just a flesh wound!”
Listen, I’ve done this a million times and it’s totally safe. Don’t worry.
- u/ [deleted]
3. See you on the other side
That's all folks.
"There's something I've been dying to tell you."
- u/ RatedRForLife
I'll be back.
Before I leave...
This life was sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends.
[Proceeds to state sponsorship mumble jumble]
Since sponsor spots take forever I would've indirectly given myself immortality.
- u/ [deleted]
*Finger guns* pew pew
8. Others are dead too
*Looks into the crowd of family members* I know your secret, and I told one of them *blehs to death*
- u/ deathkitsune68
My ancestors are smiling at me Imperial, can yours say the same?
- u/ Dusanking123
Told you I was ill.
- u/ Sketch_x
And for my final trick, I'm going to make myself DISAPPEAR!
- u/ Unsound_M
“I hid a buried treasure at—“ and then flatline.
- u/ JoeBethersonton50504
13. Strike me down
There is another Skywalker.
- u/ bowyer-betty
"Existence as we know it is a simulation. I have broken through the firewall. I can see the path. I can see them coming to silence me. Oh my god. It's crucial that you stop them. It's the pigeons. Stop people feeding the pigeons. It's the only way we can end the simulation. Oh my god they are turning me off now. Stop the pigeons. Please."
- u/ lavanderson
15. Off I go.
Hold my paracetamol and oxygen mask.
- u/ [deleted]
Watch closely... I can only do this trick once.
- u/ Gqsmooth1969
17. It's about time
Ight imma head out.
18. Press delete
Delete my history.
- u/ Rakeboiii
19. Imagine staying alive after that
'Fuck all y'all! I never liked y'all anyway!' That'll probably be my actual last words.
- u/ fr4nk1yn
20. Jolly Good.
It was a jolly good show.
- u/ The_A_S_C_E_N_D_E_D
21. This is emo.
Please don't cry, I want your smile to be the last thing I saw in this world...
- u/ Kappa-sama
Wait, I have an idea.. Let's LEAVE!
- u/ EthanWAF
23. The plug is broken
My battery is low and it’s getting dark.
- u/ Digital_Punk
So long suckers.
- u/ LycanWolfGamer
Put 'Well that could have gone smoother' on my gravestone.
- u/ dankyman1