CIA Rebrands As New App, EDM Festival, Or Something

by Ryan Loewe

MCLEAN, VIRGINIA — According to the CIA’s own Twitter account, the US Central Intelligence Agency has gotten a fresh rebrand, complete with a slick new logo and motto that are sure to attract the interest of ROTC kids everywhere. They even re-introduced themselves by jumping aboard Twitter’s favorite Monday pick-me-up: #MotivationMonday. Not at all undignified for the CIA to use the marketing tactics of a for-profit online university, if you ask us!

@CIA / Twitter

It’s unclear what the driving conviction behind this change is. Feels pretty out of character for the CIA to be so clandestine about its motives. Are they trying to shave some budget by recruiting and hiring entry level agents via the world’s first ‘spyshare’ app? The aesthetic does have a truly technocratic, Silicon Valley vibe.

Many Twitter users are already on the case.

The new CIA logo looks like R2-D2’s asshole, and we are here for it.

Twitter’s prevailing consensus was that this logo design gives off major SoundCloud DJ vibes. You don’t have to stare at the new logo for long before you’d swear you’re hearing the low-end swirl of a grimy synth chord.

The CIA could not be reached for comment at time of publishing, so we’ll just go ahead and assume this is setting up their foray into the electronic-music festival industry. If deadmau5 is assassinated soon, you’ll know who’s behind it.

Well, we’ve gotta hand it to the CIA. Debuting a new look can be scary, but they strutted their stuff with pride. If Allen Dulles was alive to see the CIA become so in-touch with modern marketing aesthetics, he would dab! Men’s Humor looks forward to hash-tag discovering—and likely falling in love with—CIA 2.0.