Get A Lawn Mower That Shreds As Hard As You Do (Trust Us—These Babies Purr)

by Danny Tornado

For those who consider the matter of their lawn with a deathly seriousness (and everyone should, let’s be real) but also spend much of their time absolutely shredding it on the snow, in the waves and all over the concrete, your prayers have been answered. Wirecutter has a list of some pretty tubular lawn mowers you can buy.

That’s right. No longer will you need to choose between the things you love to shred.

If your rigorous snowboarding lifestyle doesn’t afford you the time to eek out the best bang for your buck, lawn mower wise, you might want to consider the Toro SmartStow Recycler 20340. You won’t have to fret the damage to your bank account while you blast that sweet pow pow…and your precious lawn will thank you for it.

Cowabunga? Cowabunga, indeed.

If you’re meeting with the dudes to jump on your skateboards and rip it up in the Anderson’s empty pool, but you also want to make sure the Kentucky bluegrass gets all the love it deserves, Wirecutter recommends the Ego Power+ Select Cut Mower LM2135SP. It’s definitely a splurge, my dudes..but the lawn. The lawn needs love, and when you’re done loving on that lawn you can vandalize some outdoor stair railings.

And let’s say you want to support Honda, but you have a date with a tunnel of ocean that is just begging for your surfboard’s shreds. Well then you might want to get the Honda HRX217VKA Lawn Mower. It’s got everything you need…power, style and the good folks over at Honda have their seal of approval all over it. Oh, what’s that Perennial Ryegrass? You love the mower? Well now you can challenge God’s plans by entering the dangerous seas with a clear mind knowing you’ve done right by your lawn.

Now, even the most x-treme among us can care for the beautiful grass that the earth has blessed us with. What a world.

MensHumor.com