Gwenyth Paltrow’s Vagina-Scented Candle Explodes In Woman’s Home

by Mad Dog

NORTH LONDON — Well, if you ever wondered if a vagina candle could explode, we have the firm answer. It can explode and it will explode. Especially in the case of Jody Thompson, 50, who had her Gwenyth Paltrow ‘vagina-scented’ candle explode all over her living room.

[image courtesy of The Sun]

Now this is just plain ridiculous. The candles that Gwenyth sells on her website Goop are flat out disgusting, and this just proves it even more.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.”

Jody who lives with partner David Snow in Kilburn, North London, said: “We eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door. It could have burned the place down.”

“It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s vagina candle exploded in my living room.”

Damn. You just know some perverts would go apeshit over a product like that. Myself? The idea of being burned to a crisp because of that intimately-scented Gwenyth candle is how I am tryna go. Heaven. Would love nothing more than that.

Well, either way, we’re just glad you have sense of humor about it and that everyone is safe and sound!