Homemade Birthday Cakes Guaranteed To Ruin The Party

There was always one kid in the neighborhood that was spoiled enough to get a professional, store-bought cake for their birthday every single year. The picture-perfect cakes were only a dream for the rest of us, who usually ended up with a homemade cake that our mom’s whipped up at the last second.

Most of the homemade cakes I got as a kid were pretty basic, but Pinterest has lit the cake-decorating fire under these parents, and now they (mistakingly) try to shoot for the stars with every birthday cake. We love these parents for trying to make the best birthday cakes possible, but some of those homemade cakes are scary enough to fuel nightmares.

Perfect For Your Potty-Training Toddler

 

i_am_jenni/Instagram

The moment you think you should take creative liberties and stray from the decorating instructions, think again. I get that the brown blobs are supposed to be desert rocks, and not piles of poop, but what is that brown line supposed to be?

There’s nothing in a desert scene that calls for a thick line of brown icing.

The Little Mermaid’s Forgotten Cousin

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Honestly, things were going pretty well for this cake until they got to the face. Whoever decorated this Little Mermaid cake spent way too much time on those flowers and that crisp border.

It kind of looks like Ariel is a smurf wearing Magnum P.I. sunglasses. Maybe that’s just the vibe Mariana’s parents were going for.

It Looks Like Charmander Set Himself On Fire

 

@robotsandwaffles/Instagram

In this parent’s defense, they probably didn’t even know what a Charmander was until their kid requested it as a birthday cake. When they agreed to make a Pok√©mon cake, they probably didn’t think it would mean sculpting a gecko-like dinosaur.

They didn’t even add a flaming tail, how disappointing.

A Little Too “Mutant”

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I understand that they’re technically the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but that’s not an excuse to make it look like a tub of radioactive waste was dropped on Donatello’s face.

Just because Donatello was the least-violent Ninja Turtle doesn’t mean you can walk all over him like this and expect to get away with it.

Hopefully, She Doesn’t Get Up To See The Back

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Whatever parent attempted the classic Barbie doll dress cake is putting a lot of faith into their kid not getting up from that chair. The moment she stands up and sees the back, there’s going to be a temper-tantrum.

Since she’s probably hyped up on soda and candy already, there’s a good chance she’s not keeping her butt in that chair.

The Recipes Always Forget To Mention That Icing Melts

 

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There’s this theory floating around that SpongeBob is a result of nuclear testing, because Bikini Bottom sounds suspiciously like the Bikini Atoll islands that the U.S. tested their bombs on in WW2.

This disaster of a cake proves that theory. Only a nuclear bomb could do this to poop SpongeBob.

Oh No, Peppa, What Is You Doing?

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Apparently, even the store-bought cakes can backfire on you. This Peppa Pig cake had a lot of high hopes and then the sun got to it. Now it looks like Peppa Pig was possessed by a demon.

This hardcore version of Peppa must be why it’s banned in China for promoting gangsta tendencies.

The Cake Pan Always Gives You A False Sense Of Security

PInterest

These cake pans are the number one reason why parents think they can succeed at these elaborate cakes. Yes, it’s handing you the shape of the cake, but the decorating is entirely up to you.

Then when you end up with this, your child still gets to see exactly what it should have looked like.

He’s Not Impressed

 

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From the look on this kid’s face, this cake is not what he expected when he asked for an ambulance cake.

It’s not like ambulance cakes are a highly-requested commodity, so even if the parents had wanted to get a store-bought cake, they would have been hard-pressed to find one. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers.

Swiper Needs To Swipe Dora’s Snacks

Pinterest

This Dora the Explorer cake is genuinely pretty impressive, minus the whole Dora being severely overweight thing. It looks like Dora had one too many fajitas.

Considering the fact Mya is turning three, and Tanian is turning two, it might have been a better idea to stick with a cake that promoted a healthier lifestyle.

Let This Elsa Cake Go

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If Disney is going to keep putting out movies like Frozen and Moana that our kids become obsessed with, then they need to start providing free cake-making classes too.

Disney knows darn well that millions of kids across America are going to ask for their characters on their birthday cakes, so the least they could do is help out the parents.

Just Lie And Say It’s Olaf In Summer

 

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The problem with cake-making nowadays is that Pinterest sets unrealistic expectations. A few years ago, we would have just drawn Olaf onto a sheet cake and called it a day.

Now every mom out there thinks making a 3D version of Olaf is easy because they found a recipe on Pinterest for it.

Buzz Has Seen Some Stuff After Switching To Spanish Mode

@cakesandacrumb/Instagram

It may have only been for half of Toy Story 3, but Buzz’ brief time in Spanish mode really changed him.

That memory reset scarred him for life, and now he’s forced to live out the rest of his time as deformed versions of himself on children’s birthday cakes. We’re so sorry, Buzz.

Would You Believe Me If I Said This Was Supposed To Be A Harry Potter Cake?

@haydee_bellydance/Instagram

Buying a plain sheet cake and decorating it clearly backfired for this mom. I honestly thought this was a cake for a kid who just really like vacuums.

In reality, it’s a birthday cake for a huge Harry Potter fan. That’s supposed to be a flying broomstick, and it says ‘Happy Birthday Hermione.’

Sharks Wouldn’t Even Eat This Cake

 

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Sharks are known as opportunistic eaters, which means they’ll basically eat whatever they see if they’re hungry.

I’m not a shark, but I can confidently bet that no shark in the world would eat this birthday cake even if they were on the brink of starvation. I really hope no one is singing ‘Baby Shark’ right now.

Looks Like Mickey Spent Too Much Time In Florida

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The best part of this Mickey Mouse cake is that the home chef was professional enough to own an airbrush, but still managed to mangle poor Mickey.

This orange airbrush job makes it look like Mickey spent a little too much time sunbathing down in Walt Disney World.

Ceci Has No Idea What “HBD” Means

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I know at the start I said that parents should just stick to baking basic cakes instead of trying to get too fancy, but this dad proved how even that can go terribly wrong.

This birthday cake disaster looks straight out of a Dr. Seuss children’s book, but without the magic and whimsy.

Baskin-Robbins Robbed This Kid Of A Good Birthday Cake

 

@laaurenmariee/Instagram

One parent out there finally gave in and ordered a pumpkin shaped cake from Baskin-Robbins and they had the audacity to send this.

I know that working in an ice cream shop is a common part-time job for teenagers, but that doesn’t mean you should let a 15-year-old be in charge of cake decorating.

Tinkerbell Had A Different Type Of Fairy Dust This Time

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Tinkerbell’s fairy dust can make anyone fly, but by the looks of it, there are some other powers that Peter Pan doesn’t talk about. Whatever parent served up a cross-eyed, skeleton-hand Tinkerbell to their child needs their own fairy dust to forget about this disaster.

And let’s be honest, adding those strawberries didn’t fool anyone.

How Hard Can A Snake Be, Right?

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I’ve never actually attempted to make a snake cake for my kid, but something tells me it’s not as hard as it seems. This cake is giving snakes a worse reputation than Adam and Eve did.

I’m also not entirely sure why they made bucktooth fangs instead of normal, pointy ones.