There are many ways to describe a savage. I would say that a savage is someone who does something controversial, ruins someone else’s day, and then doesn’t apologize for it. Savages keep us on our toes and, more importantly, they keep up entertained.
They’re the ones who end up saying what we (normal people with morals) want to say but don’t. This article examines all the biggest savages on the internet that don’t have an ounce of remorse in their bodies, and it’s amazing.
I Got It From My Mamma
This is kind of a double-edged sword. On one hand, you can’t be mad that you have a pretty mom. It would be so much worse to have an ugly mom because that usually means that you’re probably going to be following suit.
On the other hand, you don’t want to be in your prime and still be over shadowed by your mom’s looks. The good news is that there doesn’t seem to be a confidence issue in the family.
You Leave It, You Lose It
When it comes to any fast food (drinks included) if you leave it out of your sight, it should be fair game. You shouldn’t even need to write this long note detailing why you took a drink out of it.
When you get McDonald’s and you’re around people who don’t have McDonald’s you must know that you’re going to be in danger of getting robbed. You wouldn’t leave your newborn baby alone on the street, so why leave your fast food? It’s simple math.
The Same Goes For Pizza
I’m not sure what you would consider fast food, but pizza is in the general category. If you leave pizza in a parking lot with your windows down, you’re just asking to be robbed. This person had some seriously admirable self-restraint to be able to hold back and only take one piece.
Seriously, what kind of person only takes one slice of pizza? They didn’t even take a dipping sauce, which should’ve been automatic.
When Your Look Is On Fleek
This is what it looks like when you have to crop people out of a picture and you grew up before social media. Now, the cropping process is a lot cleaner.
If you have a picture that you look good in but you hate the other people in it, you do what you have to do to ensure that picture stays alive. If you have to rip their heads off, you do just that, no questions asked.
Some Heroes Don’t Wear Capes
If you’ve ever been to college, you know how expensive textbooks can be. Let’s be honest, you’re only going to open it once, the night before the exam, so what’s the point of spending $1000 on it?
Usually, teachers make it mandatory to buy their textbook, but this one is a hero who doesn’t wear a cape. He’s giving these students some life hacks that will probably save them thousands of dollars by the end of their college careers.
Nothing Wrong With Being Number Two
If you want to get through life, you have to be realistic. It’s very unlikely that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, sorry. So, if someone says that you’re not number one, you should be really happy with number two.
There’s nothing wrong with a silver medal in the beauty department. There are seven billion people in the world. If you’re the second most beautiful, you should take that and run with it.
Walk Very Slowly Towards The Front Door
This is a perfect play. There aren’t too many ways that you can ruin your friend’s date if he decides to go to a restaurant. So, you have to get him when he brings her back home.
There’s nothing more uncomfortable than walking into someone’s room to see that they have a shrine of some famous person. I don’t know the red flags for identifying a serial killer, but I’m just going to assume this is one of them.
Well, They’re Not Wrong
One of the great things about little kids is that they don’t have a filter. You know that they’re being honest because they say stuff they absolutely shouldn’t. Little kids will call you ugly straight to your face and show absolutely no remorse.
They’ll go to an old age home and tell the people there that they don’t have much time left without even blinking. I mean, they’re not wrong.
Y’all Screwed This One Up
We have to give this teacher some credit for having this much dedication to a joke. Most of us don’t even have this level of dedication for our own family, nevermind for a joke. These kids must’ve really bombed that test.
I don’t know if any of y’all have tried to lift a coffin but it’s a dead weight, no pun intended (but kind of pun intended). Good for him.
“Talk To Me When He’s Five”
Look, when you’re a grandpa and have six grandkids already, this isn’t exciting. You know that kids don’t even have any value until they’re at least five years old. Like, babies are cute, kind of, but they don’t do anything other than eat, sleep, and poop at the least opportune times.
Grandpa is quickly expressing his lack of interest because he’s not interested in even seeing this little guy until he’s “of age” to actually do human stuff.
Not Drawing Your Dang Flower
This is Bruce. Bruce was dragged to his wife Helen’s wine and paint night and isn’t enjoying it at all. While most husbands would bite their tongue and pretend like they’re enjoying it for fear of getting a backhand, Bruce has had enough.
The whole class might be drawing these flowers, but Bruce went full savage-mode and expressed his feelings on the whole event in plain detail. You go, Bruce.
This Is Just Torture
These girl scouts are next level savage. They’re praying on the most vulnerable people going into Weight Watchers who are trying to turn their health around. Whoever told them to do this should get a raise though, because this is a perfect location.
The only place I can think of that would do this kind of business would be outside of a massive college party. Those kids would make some bank.
Existential Crisis In The Making
This simple question just got taken to an entirely different level. The rest of the participants are talking about some material gifts that they’ve received, but this guy wanted everyone to know how his mental state is doing.
I’ve heard of a mid-life crisis, but this is like a full-blown crisis. Can someone please go and check in on this guy? Did he just take a hard L when he was one kill away from getting a victory royale in Fortnite?
You Do What You Have To Do
When you’re at the bar and you don’t have a cell phone (which should be a red flag right off the bat) and you don’t have some paper — cheese is a natural next step.
If you don’t carry around some Kraft Single’s, you probably haven’t lived a full life. They are also a perfect way to break it to someone that you’re single without coming off as anything but a cheese connoisseur.
Payback Is Double
If you’re going to knock over your neighbor’s bike, you have to expect this. That’s basically like setting an adult’s house on fire with them knowing exactly who did it. You’re going to face swift retribution.
This little dude is coming over and it isn’t going to be pretty. He has his face covered in case there are any cameras because whatever is about to happen isn’t going to be pretty.
Parking Officers Are Sent From Satan
Can we all agree that the people who enforce parking meters are actually just sent straight from hell? If you’ve ever met a parking officer with a soul or a heart, please let me know because they’re in the 1%.
There’s no excuse good enough for these people to not give you a ticket. You can say that you had to park without paying for 15 minutes because you had to bring your dying friend to the hospital. They’ll probably laugh in your face and slap you with a $150 ticket.
That’s A Low Blow
Wow, this is a low blow. Sibling fights can get VERY aggressive and mean. You’re fighting with someone who knows you inside and out, and has seen you at your highest and lowest moments.
They know where you hurt, and they know how to attack your biggest insecurities. But, as soon as you start pulling stunts like this, it become too much. This is directly affecting her oral health which is extremely important and should be off limits.
A Young Savage At Work
Most people don’t learn how to have a side piece until AT LEAST high school. But, this kid is a little savage and is two-timing these girls with ease. Not only is he not hiding it, but he’s literally showing off his side piece for all to see.
To have this kind of confidence this early is something that will put him on many girl’s hit list when he’s older. He should probably practice some sort of self-defense before puberty.
Karma Is A *****
There’s no worse feeling than having to drive past a McDonald’s on your way home from school and having your mom or dad tell you “we have food at home.” That food always ends up being something WAY worse than McDonald’s.
Your parents think that white rice and beans are somehow equal to a Happy Meal. This mom is getting hit with a fist full of McDonald’s karma and it’s hitting hard.
Sad But True
I’m really glad that someone told Taco Bell straight to their face that their food gives everyone bowel issues. Look, it should be common knowledge that if you’re going to eat Taco Bell, you can’t have anything planned for the rest of the day.
Like, the food is worth the aftermath, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not inconvenient. You need to have a free bathroom for the remainder of the day and night. No questions asked.