There’s a certain type of honor bestowed on someone who is considered “garbage.” In fact, many of us wear that emblem with pride. Besides, who wants to be normal and boring? We all do questionable things every once in a while, but some of us frequent the questionable category more than others.
It’s both a beautiful and horrible way to live, but the key to happiness is accepting who you are. If you’re trash, own it, live it, and love it. Oh, and by the way, you’re not alone in that garbage can. If you don’t believe me, have a look at these people who should be taken to the curb every garbage day.
You Do What You Have To Do
When your boyfriend breaks up with you and you have fresh prom pictures, you have to make moves. You didn’t spend the $400 on a dress and the gazillion hours on your hair and makeup to only be able to post ONE prom picture.
So, if you have to cut out your ex, you do it. If you have to turn him into a celebrity like Ryan Reynolds, you do that too.
Ugh, Not Literally
Some people just get it. When you tell them to do something they put the pieces together and do exactly what you want them to do. For other people, like this girl’s brother, it’s not that easy.
He took the literal approach when he went after these grapes, which is both confusing and strange. Only a serial killer would eat grapes like this, so it could be a huge red flag. Stay alert.
This is not say all vegans are garbage people, but they do have to eat garbage a lot of the time. Yes, it’s healthy. Yes, it’s probably even saving the world. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s not gross.
If you can actually say that you enjoy kale, you’re probably an alien sent from some other universe to disrupt planet earth. No one CHOOSES kale unless they’re being held at gunpoint and that’s a fact.
The Starbucks Cult Runs Rampant
No one can tell me that the Starbucks cult isn’t terrifying and annoying. First of all, it’s a LARGE, not a venti or grande or whatever they want to call it. Second of all, if you don’t know the “secret menu” you’re looked down upon.
Being an “elite” no longer means that you have a lot of money. It means that you have the Starbucks secret menu memorized. It’s ludicrous.
Don’t Ask Dumb Questions
This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but if you’re going to be ordering UberEats in the first place, you’re probably a pretty trash person. Usually, it means that you’re hungover and unable to be a human being.
I’m not saying that what you’re doing is wrong, but you’re still garbage. Sorry. Nonetheless, when you’re not feeling your best, you’re probably going to ask stupid questions which means you’re going to get stupid answers. This is a perfect example of that.
This Is Fair Game
If you don’t do this, you have a problem. Being the driver when you’re going to a fast food place sucks. Why? Because the people who aren’t driving get first dibs on the fries.
As a driver, you’re never going to get the pack that’s actually full. In fact, yours is going to look like it got picked at by hyenas. It’s a reality that you have to face as a driver.
Dedication To The Boys Night
This is some serious dedication to having a boys night. Is he a bit of a garbage person for going this distance to lie to his girl about where he is? Maybe. But is it probably worth it? Yes.
The one major issue he’s going to have is that he’ll now have to get some bed sheets that match what’s seen in this picture. It could be a costly thing to do, but it’s a reality at this point.
Old People And Social Media Will Never Lose It’s Entertainment
If you’re not at least a little bit entertained by a picture like this, you need to lighten up. With that being said, if your uncle’s Facebook timeline is just him taking selfies while going to the bathroom, it’s probably time to delete him.
Is this a trash picture to post? Yeah. Should you ever have to get an insight into your uncle going poop? No. But for what it’s worth, it’s pretty funny.
You Snooze You Lose
Just because you’re a celebrity doesn’t mean that you get exempt from having cabs snagged from you. It’s a reality that we all face, especially if we’re out on the town.
When there are a million people calling cabs and a million people waiting for cabs outside of the bar, you’re probably going to have yours stolen. Sorry David, but you snooze you lose. Just because you have fans, doesn’t mean these people aren’t stealing your ticket out of here.
The Most Useful Thing A Baby Can Do
Sometimes the truth isn’t what a lot of people want to hear. Babies are useless. There, I said it, and you might have a different opinion but hear me out and ask yourself what do they do for you? Don’t say make you happy, because that’s not a thing.
They can’t do anything but eat, sleep, and poop. Using the baby as a fries holder is probably the most use you can have for one until they’re able to talk and walk.
It Could’ve Been Worse
If you’ve ever been the first person to fall asleep at a party, you know that it’s dangerous. Nothing good has ever come from that. There have been many notched eyebrows and shaved heads coming from being the first to pass out.
This girl is lucky that she was very “productive” with her time as she was passed out. Has there ever been someone who has accomplished as much when they were face first in their mattress?
A Cultured Man
Can we just talk about SnapMaps for a second? Isn’t that the creepiest thing ever? The same people who are up in arms about the government spying on them will dress up their bitmoji and share their location with the world.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk, now let’s get back to how confusing it would be to see one of your friends in North Korea. This is one way to be certain that Julian is in the CIA.
Running For Fun < Anything
Why do people run for fun? Anyone who does that is kind of a garbage person, sorry. There’s no reason for that. Running isn’t fun at all. Yes, it’s a means to an end, but there are much more enjoyable ways of achieving the summer body you’re looking for.
For example, you can play badminton, squash, heck, you can even go play a round of golf. It’s not a hot take to say that you’re a different breed if you run for fun. Oh, and also, that sign is funny.
Shot To The Heart
We’ve all been rejected in weird ways. The most common and easiest way is by just not texting back at all. The term, “ghosting” is becoming all too popular.
But, the most garbage way to tell someone your not interested is to come up with some elaborate lie that no one is going to believe. For example, saying that you’re literally busy for every day for the rest of the year is a bold strategy, but an effective one.
Nothing Wrong With A Little Pettiness
No one said that it was wrong to be petty. In fact, it’s not even a garbage trait. It takes a lot of skill and dedication to your petty craft to be able to pull off this kind of prank.
If you don’t like someone, you don’t owe them anything. So, why not invite them over to your place and make them drink hot dog water while you pretend to be interested in their life?
This Is Straight Trash
There is only one way to eat cereal and everyone knows that. You can NEVER put the milk in before the cereal. That’s one of the worst sins you can commit. I swear Jesus said that at some point.
But, an even more trashy way to eat your morning brew is by putting down the milk, THEN the cereal, and then the bowl. This is heart-wrenching to look at right now.
Mixed Messages Here
As much as avocado gets a lot of hype, I’ll be the first one to say that it deserves it. It’s not only extremely healthy, but it also tastes amazing. They’re super expensive though, so I guess the punishment for cheating on this girl is that she’ll completely ruin an avocado?
Or, am I reading this wrong? Maybe she’ll make some guacamole and not add the right spices? We need answers.
It’s clear what we have to do to save the dog population. We need to make sure that all dog people take down their “extraness” about seventeen notches. Why do we need to dress our dogs up in the most ridiculous outfits?
Why do our dogs need to wear Uggs on all of their paws when clearly they’re uncomfortable and every step they take looks like they’re walking on fire?
Please Do This
There’s really nothing more awkward than being in the bathroom stall next to someone and hearing them go to the bathroom. There are very few ways of actually covering this up. One of them is to keep conveniently coughing, but it’s not all that believable.
The best way, and perhaps the most trashy, is to shriek at the top of your lungs. As long as the person beside you is more uncomfortable than you are, you win.
The Nightmare Roommate
If you’ve ever had to live with a roommate who you didn’t like, this will be all too familiar. They’re the type of person who is willing to do anything to get out of cleaning their own mess.
They’ll even invent a mat like this one that looks like a clean sink just so they don’t have to get their hands dirty. These type of people are trashier than a raccoon’s mouth.