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20 Nurses Share Hilariously Horrific Stories From Their Workplace | "Half Funny-Half Gross"
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20 Nurses Share Hilariously Horrific Stories From Their Workplace | "Half Funny-Half Gross"

These nurses get to experience bizarre events in the midst of their demanding jobs. Their mortifying stories will make you respectfully crack up.

Nurses sharing hilarious incidents make for the most amusing stories. As nurses and midwives, their everyday responsibilities are demanding but they also get to experience some truly bizarre events on their jobs. Some nurses took time off and shared some of these stories with Nurse Buff and The Nurse Break. If you're having a stressful week, now would be a good time to sit back and peruse these stories. 

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1. "Won't tell your bosses"

"My patient was on bowel prep for an endoscopy procedure. She is very sweet but often forgets things quickly because of dementia. To start the bowel prep, I gave her a laxative mixed in a glass of juice. I explained to her that it will induce several bowel movements in the next hours. After four hours, my patient peeked in the station and signaled for me to come with her in her room.
'Darling, I really like you as my nurse but I have something to tell you.'
'Sure, no problem.  What is it?'
My patient motioned for me to come even closer.
She whispered conspiratorially, 'I believe the water you used for my juice gave me dysentery. But don't worry I won't tell your bosses. I just want to let you know so you don’t get dysentery as well.'"

2. "Eat patient"

"Everyone in the unit was busy helping with a code when suddenly, one of our patient’s blood glucose dropped to 72 mg/dL. Another nurse in our unit referred it to the resident on duty and he ordered to advise patient to eat her breakfast first. The harried nurse wrote down his order on the patient’s chart and went on to her other duties.  When the patient’s attending physician came, he was very surprised.  The frazzled nurse had written, 'Advise to eat patient!'"

3. "It's the delirium Olympics in here"

"Asked a colleague today how her day was / how bad was it as the little ward she is on can get feral at times. 'It's the delirium Olympics in here' was her response. All day all I can think of are events for the delirium Olympics:
100m dash (absconding)
Boxing (fighting the nurse when trying to get a set of obs)
Wrestling (personal care)
Ribbons gymnastics (plucking)
Balance beam (unsteady gait bed to chair)"

4. "Put this on!"

"Was asked to escort a very nervous older female patient to theatres who had a fractured NOF. The PSA left us in the pre-surgery bay and a very harassed looking RN rushed over, handed me a surgical cap and said 'put this on' before rushing off to attend to the post op patient who had just emerged from theatre. I promptly put the cap on (I was unsure how far into theatres I needed to escort my patient) and stood chatting to my patient for another 10 minutes or so while we waited for someone to come back. The RN came back, looked pointedly at the surgical cap on my head and said oh, I meant on the patient actually!! I literally died inside whilst the patient dissolved into fits of laughter !! At least I helped with her anxiety before her procedure And yes, my darling brother told that story in his speech at my 21st !!"

5. Is that a joke? 

"We once had 2 clients with the exact same name. I had to refer one to podiatry. I got mixed up and sent the podiatrist to the one who was a double leg amputee. When the podiatrist rang me and asked me if it was a joke, I was mortified." 

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6. Wig off

"When I worked in PACU, I took a lady's theatre hat off, as you do, and also pulled her wig off. I was mortified. Luckily she was still sedated."

7. Bottom of the mystery 

"Not me but a nurse I know very well once had a patient who had come in with a foreign body or removal. Naturally it was a surgical case because why else would you go to hospital to have something removed from your bum?! There was a bit of a wait on the emergency list which was OK with the patient who kept absconding and didn’t seem to want the object out that badly.
The nurses kept calling and calling this patient to have them come back, assuming they were out smoking. This happened a fair few times. Eventually the nurses were informed to please stop calling that patient if they abscond. Then the patients number was actually blacked out on the charts. Turned out the foreign body was actually the patient 's phone... on vibrate."

8. "Wooooo"

"Pat sliding can be scary for patients who are usually independent. However recently we were pat sliding a 90 year old patient, and we told her to cross her arms and give herself a hug. As we slid her, she let out a  'wwoooo' sound as if she was enjoying herself, proceeded to giggle and say 'that's the best ride I've had in a long time…'"

9. "On my shoulder"

"On one of my very first shifts as a brand new personal care assistant, I learnt the hard way how messy nursing can really be! An elderly gentleman needed help putting his pants on after his shower. With him standing up, I bent down to help him put his feet through the pant legs and I then felt pattering on my shoulder. I looked up only to realize he had begun peeing on my shoulder. I looked at him, he looked at me and we both decided not to mention it ever again." 

10. What alcohol?

"Triaging at a large metro hospital on a Saturday afternoon. Double lines out the door. A young 18 year old skinny man and his friend come up to my desk, the friend does the talking. 'Yes my friend is very sick, he's been throwing up all day.' I ask a few follow up questions and the friend pipes up, 'it might be the alcohol.' 'What alcohol?' Turns out this 18 year old drank for the first time the previous night. Shots of whiskey, no food. I welcomed him to adulthood and sent him home with instructions on how to manage a hangover."

11. "Love you dad"

"I was on the phone with the consultant as I needed him to review a patient in clinical review criteria for low blood pressure. After a serious professional conversation, I accidentally ended the phone call with, love you dad... it was an awkward phone call one hour later for a follow up on the same patient…"

12. Can't be more dead

"I was mid cardiac arrest (one of my first) and the ED Consultant told me to give the adrenaline. I asked how fast I had to give it, he looked at me and laughed before he replied, 'He isn't getting any more dead, jam it in!' Haha."

13. Completely blind

"As a student, had a pt who was completely blind- a fact I clearly mind blanked on when I walked in and so when I  started to make small talk I said 'oh its a beautiful day out there, let me open your curtains so you can see the sunshine and flowers out there'… she replied 'won’t make much difference' then laughed thankfully! Safe to say I went bright red, lucky she couldn’t see that either!"

14. See you never 

"I asked my pt  'would you like to take a sh*t' instead of seat due to my nervousness. Said 'see you later' when they discharged from ED, I don't think any of them wants to see us again ."

15. "Half funny-half gross"

"Half funny – Half gross… Whilst caring for a woman in labour who was close to having a baby, her water broke. Now despite me standing on the side of the bed, they managed to hit me straight in the face and avoided everybody else. Luckily my mouth was closed and I was wearing my PPE, so I helped that baby be born whilst amniotic fluid dripped down my face and hair. The doctor in the room very kindly wiped my face for me and once the baby arrived safely and the woman was comfortable, I left the room to shower and threw out my very soaked work shoes."

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16. Hold onto your pants

"Probably my funniest and also most embarrassing story of my career goes back to my student days. Whilst in theatres as a student on the scrub/scout rotation I found myself thinking it was awfully cold at the end of a long orthopaedic case. I clearly remember the moment I said to the surgeon, 'is it always this cold in here?' to which the anaesthetist replied, 'only when we drop our pants!' To my horror, my scrub pants knot had come loose and they had promptly dropped to the floor. For the rest of practical I made extra sure my knots were tight."

17. Tweezer for the 'splinter'

"As a newbie working in ED at Tamworth, we have the most hilarious team. We had the Westpac chopper arriving and I asked the head consultant what we were expecting. He told me it was a bloke with a splinter and asked if I could go get some tweezers as he was about to be wheeled in. I thought, 'This is really strange and such a poor use of resources, a splinter?' As I was carrying the tweezers out to this doctor, he looked at me, polka faced and thanked me, then opened the curtain to where I found a man laying on the bed with a massive fence post straight through his chest and sticking out the back. The doctor looked at me, clicked his tweezers and said to the other staff, 'Everything is ok, Ange has brought me tweezers for the splinter.' I just stood there, red faced while everyone was in hysterics. I really should've known better, he has been known to be a joker. But even in a situation like that, he was able to make light of it. Even the patient had a good chuckle."

18. Right behind her

"As student nurses training in the old hospital system, we were largely left to ourselves overnight. A fellow student nurse could do an amazing impersonation of our eccentric Night Supervisor (who wore the most silent shoes). The SN would ring her friends during the night pretending to be the Supervisor and allocate them the most horrendous patient from ED. She was in the middle of this prank, with her work colleague wildly trying to get her attention, finished the call and turned around to find the real Night Supervisor standing behind her. Not a word was said, looks said it all."

19. Fat slip

"I was towards the end of my very first placement in theatres. It was a breast reduction and during the surgery I was asked to retrieve something from the store room. Somehow a small amount of fatty breast tissue made it’s way to the floor by the door. I slipped on it and went down like a sack of potatoes, scrambling for a hold on the handle-less doors. I landed with on the floor with a small squeal and a thump and turned red faced to see the rest of the theatre staff silently and sympathetically cacking themselves." 

20. Loud horn 

"Myself and the other nurse in a small community had gone with our health workers to uplift one of the very respected community elders that had passed. He had been palliated at home, everything had gone well. The family and community were all quiet outside while we were loading him into the ambulance, but we had trouble because the arm rest on the driver's side was flipped back. So I jumped in the front to flip it forward, they pushed him in, and I moved back... right into the horn with my bum. They could have put me in the cold room as well because I died. Loud horn beep, as everyone is grieving. Could not have been more horrified. Cue jokes from the health workers about how loud my bum is for the next few days. No one was offended luckily. But every now and then, I think about it and both laugh and cringe."

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