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15 Pizza Delivery People Share the Weirdest Instructions They’ve Received and It’s a Laugh Riot
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15 Pizza Delivery People Share the Weirdest Instructions They’ve Received and It’s a Laugh Riot

Some take great joy in making ordering a pizza a fun activity with funny and lighthearted instructions for the staff.

People waiting for their pizzas typically have big smiles on their faces as they eagerly answer the door when the delivery guy knocks. However, the part before that—when they place their order with specific instructions on how they like their pie and how they want it to be delivered—is perhaps the most fascinating.

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While some are uptight, selective, and obsessive about particular things, others take great pleasure in making it a fun activity with funny and lighthearted instructions for the staff. Reddit user u/Xophishox sought out such orders when they posted this question on the platform: "Pizza delivery drivers, what are the weirdest 'instructions to the driver' you have ever encountered."

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In response, there was a flood of comments recounting their weird delivery instruction moments, and here are 15 of the funniest and weirdest ones:

1. Yell "Pizza Pizza"

One time I was instructed to, instead of knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell, yell "PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!" as loud as I could.
They actually happened to be outside when I showed up, so it wasn't necessary after all. — u/darthnad3r

2. Grounded but craving pizza

My daughter works at a pizza place. She took a call this past weekend asking for the driver to "knock on the window to the right of the garage door, do NOT go to the front door." Was a grounded kid who wanted pizza without his parents knowing. — u/Edwardian

3. Take your time and ride slow

My dad once ordered a pizza and instructed the driver to drive to the house really slowly.
His reason, he was trying to get to a party and couldn't figure out where the address was, he was tailing the driver from the pizza place parking lot. When the driver stopped my dad got out, bought the pizza, and gave the driver a big tip, then he went to the party with pizza for everyone. — [deleted]

4. Talk in Spanish and get the tip

"There is a sombrero on the front steps. Please wear it and speak only Spanish."
They were drunk college kids (don't even think they knew a lick of Spanish), but I did it anyway. Got a $12 tip for following instructions. — u/Fun_Fingers

5. Unique address?

"The door is behind the swimming pool and the 6-car garage, turn left after entering the first driveway." — u/Medicwine

6. Is it possible via airdrop?

When I was still in school and working at a Domino's I once got a note for an online order that asked to deliver the pizza via airdrop. It was made under the name Captain Price. — u/Wadatah2526

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7. Umm... where?

"Hi, can you deliver the pizza to the igloo in front of 52 Maple?" — u/CantSeeShit

8. Don't say a word

I was once told "don't talk to my daughter she's got a case of the boy crazies right now." Daughter answers door in a shirt and panties, jailbait style, and subsequently got yelled at. The dad said I just saved you from 15-20, chuckled, and tipped me five bucks for not saying a word to her. — u/milksteakman

9. Very weird and kind of gross

Once I ordered pizza online for my wife to pick up on the way home. On the other instructions, I wrote: "Ask if she pooped today." Sure enough, when she got home, she told me about how the counter person had asked her if she pooped, and she got offended until she read the receipt. Thanks to that worker for making my day! — u/GLMonkey

10. Extra tip for carrying extra goods

I had a guy who once a week would call and order, and then have the driver call him as soon as he left the store. The guy would then ask if I could pick him a pack of cigarettes/blunts/papers and deliver them. He would pay me back. He always paid me, plus a decent tip. — u/squandrew

11. Don't ring the doorbell and don't knock

Instructions were verbatim: "When you approach the house, turn off the car lights, don't ring the doorbell or knock. Walk to the garage and start humming the Batman theme song."
I followed instructions and hummed the theme song. The garage door opened and there was a bunch of grown men laughing their a**es off. I gave them pizza, got paid, and walked away with a $50 tip. — u/caizer68

12. Metallica fan?

Well, back when I worked at a pizza place, another guy there would always type Metallica lyrics into the "instructions to the driver" section. Confused the hell out of the drivers who didn't speak English too well. — u/kodos96

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13. Bring a screwdriver 

"Bring a screwdriver for the front gate." It was an apartment complex with a locked gate and he would always tell the order taker to tell us to "jimmy the lock" with a screwdriver to get in. At first, I felt like saying f**k this guy, I'll make him come let me in if he wants his pizza, but some girl let me in the first time, I took it to the apartment and it was this cute old couple, they could barely walk and had me set the pizza on the table. So every time after, I brought my screwdriver. But the first time I got that order, I was confused as f**k." — u/1OnionDart

14. Exploring the instruction section

I once ordered pizza online for myself at home and it was a novel thing for me at the time. I saw "special instructions for delivery?" and got so excited, but I could only come up with something lame: Knock twice, ring bell once. They did it!!! I was so excited, I actually thanked them. Ever since then no one has ever followed any instructions. — u/ClassiestBondGirl311

15. Use which door?

My buddy and I put a sign on my front door when we were 12 that said "Please use the back door" and a sign on the back door that said "Please use the front door" one time. However, the driver came to the front door, walked to the back door, then walked to the front door again, then walked to the back door and finally knocked. We answered and bought the pizza and he didn't say a word about the signs. Underwhelmed, we agreed it was a retarded idea and never did it again. — [deleted]

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