Let’s just get one thing out there, I’m a male. Yes, I’m writing about women and their periods but only in a way that makes fun of other men. We’re insanely terrified of women’s hygiene products and any conversation that surrounds it.
The fear creates a huge information gap that many men just don’t care to close. This ignorance creates some very special comedic moments that are absolutely hilarious. No, we’re not laughing with the fellas, we’re laughing at them. Enjoy this article that highlights just how dumb men can be whenever the phrase “I’m on my period” enters the conversation.
Okay, This Is An Accidental Win
In the boyfriend’s defense, this would be a great device to have around the house. Not for any menstruation purposes, but for party purposes.
There’s such a stigma surrounding tampons that there’s no way a security guard or bouncer would ever question or touch something that even looks like a tampon. All in all, this might not be what the girlfriend wanted short term, but long term, this is very beneficial.
They Still See You, Bro
A boyfriend buying their girlfriend some tampons is probably going to set off the next World War. Guys are on edge when they get asked to go to the store to buy tampons.
A tampon box to a male is basically a hand grenade. The fear of getting seen buying tamps is crippling for no reason. No one thinks your buying tamps for yourself. They know it’s for a girl, but that still doesn’t stop the constant sweat that runs down their body.
Oh Boy, Urine Some Trouble Now
It’s one thing to mansplain having your period, but it’s another thing to be this ignorant about how biology works in general. I’m going to let his words speak for themselves and talk about holding pee in.
Holding in your pee is an easy way to get a UTI. A UTI occurs when bad bacteria makes its way into the urinary tract. If you don’t empty your bladder enough, the bacteria is more likely to sit and multiply in the bladder. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s get back to ignorant men.
Coming up, a girl hilariously tells us about her cravings and men need to listen up.
What Would That Be Like ?
As a guy, I can confirm that it’s very difficult to pee and sneeze at the same time. So, if I may talk about that for a quick second, I have some insight.
The potential for a bathroom flood goes up tenfold when a guy is peeing standing up and feels a sneeze come on. He literally has to brace for impact and make a few very important decisions. He either has to sacrifice his dignity and pee all over the floor, or sacrifice his, oh never mind. We’ll continue the talk about sneezing while on your period on the next page.
And Now We Know Why…
I really didn’t NEED a visual for this, but now that I have it I’m very, uh, grateful? If this volcanic eruption is anything close to what it feels like to sneeze on your period, you girls have it much worse than us.
I don’t even want to know what the purple spray represents. Can we just agree that sneezing while having to either pee, poo, or just be on your period is not a pleasant thing?
You Do What You Gotta Do
Honestly, if a girl is on her period and she asks for a certain food item, you better get it to her ASAP. This is not a recommendation, this is a mandatory drill that HAS to be followed.
Also, don’t judge the combinations either. They might start craving some weird pickle ice cream pizza cake and as a boyfriend, you need to just go along with it. Just know you only need to brace for impact for a fairly short amount of time.
Coming up, a story about a tampon thief that pulls some strings, and it’s so cringe.
You Can Tell This “Hey” Girl To Back Off
When you’re around your girlfriend and you know she’s on her period, you need to tread lightly with what you say around her. She may already be on edge, so any word that sounds like it could be another girl’s name should be avoided.
Basically, what I’m gathering from this tweet is that men should only say the name of their girlfriend on repeat to avoid any confusion.
Anytime A Sentence Ends With “Sweetie” You Need To Run
Here’s a public service announcement for any boyfriend or husband. If she ends her sentence with “sweetie,” you need to run. Not just to the nearest neighboring house, but to the next planet.
She’s pissed and has something to prove. You’re about to feel a wrath that you don’t want to feel. I’m pretty sure that half of all Jerry Springer fights happen after a sentence ended with “sweetie.”
Pulling Some Strings
There aren’t many things that can happen to you in life that you can’t recover from. Financial difficulties? You can recover. Marriage issues? You can rejuvenate your love. Eating a stick of butter thinking it was whipped cream? Easy bounce back.
But, if your boyfriend comes over to you and goes full tampon thief in public, you’re not going to be able to recover from that, I’m sorry. This is where the line of recovery is drawn and it’s not going to be good.
Just ahead, a few roommates take the initiative to make way for “women time,” and their note is hilarious.
NEVER Ask The Forbidden Question
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if someone is bringing their bag to the washroom, they have a reason for it. Even if that reason is to protect their belongings from getting stolen while they’re gone.
There’s nothing more awkward than having to explain yourself in front of the entire class. Even if everyone already knows what going on, it’s kind of just silently understood. This takes a whole new meaning of “don’t ask, don’t tell” in the classroom.
It’s Probably Good He Stayed Anonymous
There’s good reason why this guy decided to stay anonymous when making this bold statement. First of all, it’s completely okay to whine. In fact, people do it for much less pain (like stubbing your toe) and they know they’re not going to die.
If only the dying were allowed to whine, then the world would be one quiet place. Imagine breaking your arm and not being able to complain because people would tell you to “get over yourself”?
Backhanded Compliment? I Guess?
Let’s talk about this guy’s writing first of all. It’s so confusing because at points I feel like it’s kind of neat, and other moments (like when he randomly capitalizes four letters in “there’s”) I think he writes like a five year old.
I digress, but I’m sure it would be refreshing to have chocolate delivered to you AND have an empty house for the day when you’re not feeling 100%. But, the whole “woman time” thing is mildly confusing. All in all, this is a pass.
Coming up, a story about a girl, a pool, and an ignorant boy that will make you beg for better sex education.
Sometimes the ignorance of a boyfriend in regards to a woman’s hygiene products is comedic gold. This is an example of that. I would pay money to watch someone open this on Christmas morning.
There are bad presents, and then there is getting a pad. What’s even better is that the wrapping paper is blue which may (if you’re caught up on color stereotypes from the early 2000s) make someone think that the present is for a guy.
Who Wants To Float On The Giant Pad?
How did the creators of this product look at it and not even see a slight resemblance to a pad? It literally would’ve taken one girl (or one person with common sense) to look at this product and raise questions.
This product is probably going to be hitting the sales rack VERY quickly because no one is going to want to relax on their Tampax. Get it? Okay, I’m done with the rhyming tampon jokes for the article, I swear.
This Evokes So Many Different Emotions
Once again, the idea that a woman’s period starts in her bladder is just comical. I know this is perhaps a dumb comparison, but it’d be like cutting someone with a knife and asking them to “hold in the bleeding” before they go swimming.
If that’s the length of comparison it takes for a guy to really understand what’s happening, then so be it.
Are you ready for the comeback of the century? That’s coming up.
Women’s Bodies HATE The Number 30, That’s Why
What’s really sad about this is that it’s actually a common misconception. People actually believe that every woman in the world has their period synced up to the date of the month.
If i asked these men if they truly believe that a women’s body hates the number 30 and 31, I would HOPE they’d say that’s ridiculous. But believing that every women’s period happens at the end of the month is basically believing that.
It’s Official, We Need New Sexual Education Curriculum
Can we just talk about Mitt Romney for a second? This response actually does sound like a Mitt Romney diary entry. If you can remember back to 2012, he said he has binders full of women’s resume who applied for a job to work for him as Governor of Massachusetts.
The media had a frenzy with this phrase and rightly so. It seemed very demeaning and insensitive toward women. His ignorance toward women’s issues in general perfectly fits into this article.
Well, That’s Terrifying
Could you imagine getting into a fight with your girl and then her whispering this into your ear? If she said it out loud it would be scary, but the fact that she whispers it probably means she is going to follow through.
I don’t know how I would react. But, what I will say is that if I ever asked if my girlfriend was on her period in an argument, it would be an obvious death sentence that I would expect her to follow through on.
What Do The Colors Mean?
When you send your boyfriend to the store to get you some tampons, you can almost be guaranteed a conversation like this. There’s going to be panic, there’s going to stress, and there’s going to be capital letters.
Capitalism has taken its toll on menstruation, which is proven in the many flavors and brands that sell tampons. It can be a very daunting experience for a guy, especially if it’s his first time. Between the bright colors and sizes, it’s almost impossible to get the right one.
Okay, This Needs To Stop
Okay, this has gotten out of hand. First of all, the whole pumpkin spice movement is overrated in general. No, I don’t want a pumpkin spice latte, I just want a regular coffee (if those even exist anymore).
Why are companies making flavored tampons? As a male, I need help understanding this concept. In my experience with the spice, it doesn’t have an outstanding smell, and in this case who even care about the taste (hopefully).