The Ten Thiccest Professional Athletes Who Rocked Out With Their Dad Bods Out

by Mad Dog

INTERNET — A lot of hubbub has been made of James Harden’s recent weight gain. But here at Men’s Humor, we support all bodies in all shapes and sizes. Which is why we want to count down the list of the most epic, thick boy athletes of all time. Enjoy!

Top 10 Thiccest Athletes Of All Time

10. John Daly

Jon Daly is an all-time legendary golfer and boozer. But he’s also an all-time chubster. Look at that paunch peeking out from that bright pink polo. Legend status! Lots to grab on to, and reader, trust: we might grab a lil’ something on Jon if we ever get the chance.

9. James Harden

James Harden, now of the Brooklyn Nets, gained a bunch of weight this season. And we love this look for him as he drains both three pointers and the ATM at the strip club. Hell ya, man!

8. CC Sabathia

CC Sabathia is a legendary baseball player. He’s won multiple Cy Young awards, and at least tripled in size since his rookie year. And guess what? That’s awesome. Get it, CC!

7. Curt Schilling

Robert Deutsch – USA TODAY NETWORK

Curt Schilling didn’t let his pudge get in the way of his World Series victories. And he certainly didn’t let the pudge stop him from founding and subsequently bankrupting a video game company in Massachusetts.

6. Babe Ruth

Babe Ruth was thicc and proud. Legend has it he ate numerous hot dogs before and during games. Yup. Enough said. Bow down to the king!

5. Warren Sapp


Warren Sapp was an offensive lineman in the NFL. Now? He’s a big man, enjoying a big life at the top of the income bracket thanks to his successful post-NFL career as a commentator. Stay large, Warren!

4. Prince Fielder


Prince Fielder is an absolute ten. Ten tons, that is. Ten tons of class, and food, that is. He’s also an epic ball player and an even more epic person. Keep on cruising and bruising, Prince!

3. Emanuel “Tiny” Yarbrough

Now we’re getting to the biggest boys there are. Emanuel “Tiny” Yarbrough is a legendary thicc daddy who was a famous Japanese sumo wrestler. These Eastern athletes put even competitive eaters to shame in terms of heft. He rocks ass. No bones about it: respect.

2. Glen “Big Baby” Davis


Glenn “Big Baby” Davis is an absolute ham beast. But he was also a pillar of the Boston community, and a stellar role player for the Celtics. Big isn’t just better: big is basketball, and Big Baby proves it.

1. Andre The Giant

Image courtesy of BodyWHAT

This is the biggest daddy of them all. Andre The Giant was known to drink an average of 30 beers per night while also rocking a bod we are all jealous of. You could open a coconut by dropping that gut on it. He’s the clear cut winner here, and that’s why we’ve placed him at number one on this list of thicc athletes.

By Unanimous Consent – Bartolo Colon

We are compelled to add one more to the list based on unanimous consent by our readers. We deeply regret leavcing him off the list in the first place. Bartolo Colon,

Aug 7, 2018; Arlington, TX, USA; Texas Rangers starting pitcher Bartolo Colon (40) throws to first base in the fifth inning against the Seattle Mariners at Globe Life Park in Arlington. Mandatory Credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Thicc Athletes, huh?

Keep eating, brothers!