Teachers Share 25 Side-Splitting Stories of Their Students That Will Teleport You Back to The Good Old Days

Ah! The glorious student life. Not a care in the world except fun and games. The kindergarten era is pure gold for a lot of reasons. Miniature humans running around, darting back and forth at lightning speed. The kiddos are pure entertainers. The teens are no less. Perhaps worse. 

Their curiosity to know things, discover and explore can sometimes get on your nerves. They are at the age where they are no longer kids but they also cannot be called adults. Teachers are often the victim of their ever-growing list of unusual questions and hilarious answers. They have no off-button and the stimulated brain runs 1000 miles per minute. This Reddit thread is packed with a humorous collection of student anecdotes told by their teachers. Stress aside, the teachers are also fortunate to experience firsthand the savage responses that come out of the kids' mouths. Unfiltered and raw. 

We thank the teachers who shared these anecdotes with us which left us in stitches. These kids have a sense of humor to give any comedian a run for their money. So tag along and enjoy. 

1. Do you wear pants?

Phys. Ed teacher here. I always wear shorts while teaching. Parent-teacher conferences roll around. Grade 1 student comes up to me with her parents :'I've never seen you wear pants before.' I've never responded quicker to a comment before in my life to clear that up. - u/Famous1187

2. The guy is going places

I teach English to Vietnamese kids. I asked what is the population of Vietnam. The kid quickly surveyed the room and said, 'More than 15.' This guy is going places. - u/ValexDragon

3. Did not think of that

I asked: 'When is a time you have used integrity?' He wrote down: 'I wash my hands after going to the bathroom, even if no one is in there'. -u/adjer

4. Wow!

(On a 3rd grade Charlotte's Web quiz) Give 2 pieces of evidence that support this statement: Charlotte was a good friend to Wilbur.
The answer: She comforted him and she didn't let him become pork. - u/OhFFSSeriously

5. He followed the rules

The assignment: Write the following numbers in all letters.
The kid answered :
3: four
15: sixteen
21:twenty-two

And so on. I gave him full points. -u/yadoya

6. Powerful babies

My first grade class was learning the word 'powerful.' Kids came up with examples of powerful things and people, like elephants and superman. Then one boy said, 'babies are powerful because they can cry and get whatever they want.' -u/Hiciao

7. Invisible ninja

I asked my students to draw a picture of a ninja chicken on an exam. One student drew nothing, and pointed out that the chicken was such an effective ninja that he was invisible. - u/REricSimpson

8. Exactly

Name two ways to determine the height of a building using a barometer that is exactly one meter long:
Take the barometer to the top of the building, drop it, and time how long it takes to hit the ground.
Find the owner of the building and say: 'Hey - I have this really awesome barometer I'll give you if you tell me how tall your building is.' 
u/FourOneNiner

9. "Pennslyvania"

'Teacher, I need a pencil.'
'Where do the pencils live?' (I have a bucket of sharpened pencils for them to use.)
'Pennsylvania?'
u/EmilyamI

10. Oh yeah

In nutrition class at CC, the teacher asks, 'What's one of the first things you throw out of the window when you drink alcohol.' This kid just mumbles: 'Standards.'
u/MrTubbZ

11. LOL

In a class that deals with electricity, I asked the students to name a good conductor.
The answer: Leonard Bernstein - u/babaoryan

12. Black keys matter

My music teacher was showing us how to use an xylophone and said, 'Only hit the black keys, not the white keys,' and my friend instantly replied with 'Miss that's racist.'
u/Cyanide_Revolver

13. The "after was here."

I've taught English in Korea and Japan, and one student who wanted to say something like 'afterwards' or 'in the end' wrote, 'the after was here.' I stopped for a moment and just stared off into space after reading that. - u/Hyper_Fujisawa

14. The Dark Age

World history class for 5th graders. End of the Unit test on the Middle Ages.
The question: Why are the Middle Ages, in Europe, often described as the Dark Ages?
The answer: Because lightbulbs weren't invented yet.
u/Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman

15. Teacher's favorite memory

I worked in a special needs class for a year and there was the one kid with a textbook case of Asperger Syndrome. Very bright, very tough nut to crack.
I tried to tell him a corny joke once and he was not having it.
'Why did the chicken cross the road?' 'He likely had business over there or was compelled by force.'
Well, ok.
Easily my favorite memory of that class. - u/scotthferris

16. Legendary answers

There was a buddy of mine in college, J, who was legendary for his witty responses in class. We were training to be RAs and the residential life person asked, 'What are some things that as an RA, you shouldn't do in your dorm room?' People were saying stuff like drinking, etc.
J raises his hand, gets called on, says, 'Practicing medicine without a license.'
The trainer was like, 'Uh, yeah, I guess that's true.'
2. Same guy was in a film class. Teacher asks, 'What technique defined the scene we just watched?'
J raises his hand, gets called on, says,  'Long, awkward silences.'
Teacher: 'Could you give an example?'
J:'.......'
u/KesselZero

17. Epic

Question: What ended in 1856?
Answer: 1855
u/[deleted]

18. Smart kid

I teach English in Japan.
When teaching my students, I asked, 'What do we say when someone is being too loud?'
One smartass says, 'Shut up forever!' (More like, 'for-EHbah').
I had never said this. No clue where he learned it either. I nearly lost my shit but he wasn't wrong.
The correct answer is 'Be quiet, please,' which I told him is more polite. He just grinned as if he knew but didn't care. Smart kid. I'll miss him when I change jobs. 
u/diligence_is_key

19. Better rephrase 

Me: 'The quiz tomorrow will be on...' 
Student: 'Paper!'
Everyone laughed and I rephrased the question.
u/BroccoliHotdish

20. Well.

I asked a kid, 'Why does the mother moose eat the placenta?' And the student replied,  'to gain it's powers.'
u/DontYouTrustMe

21. People are Amish

In 7th grade on a test the question said: Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem? A kid simply put, 'Because some people are Amish.'
u/stinkyrossignol

22. Honest girl

Preschool teacher here. For Father's Day, we did a cute little journal thing where we asked the kids their favorite things to do with dad along with some other stuff. One question was: "what does dad like to do?' Most answer were average but one little girl told me her dad 'loves to drink beer and smoke cigarettes all day.'
u/aughtomaton

23. He makes sense

Teaching grade 5. Students were fooling around during group work so I said sarcastically, 'Do I need to stand here and watch you do your work?' To which the student responded even more sarcastically, 'Well you don't have to stand, you can grab the chair and sit.'
u/shaaanon08

24. Hahaha

ESL teacher. I had my students do an activity where they had to give directions based on a map and situations I had chosen. The final question was more complex and one of my students wrote, 'Way too difficult, take a cab.'
u/[deleted]

25. Ice cream improves focus

I was doing my student teaching, and there was a boy that got his recess taken away and I was the one supposed to be punishing him. His problem was that he talked and talked and talked. So I ask him, 'what could we do to help you focus better?' He thinks for a solid minute and replies, 'ice cream.' Couldn't help but laugh.
u/maroonmallard