Feminism Win: Turns Out This Famous Dead Viking Is Actually A Dead WOMAN Viking

by Tom Limo

Here’s some amazing news for women everywhere: According to U.S. News, the human remains that were placed in this famous Viking warrior grave are actually those of a woman, not a man.  

Hell yes! Take that, patriarchy!

While the woman’s remains were first excavated in the 1880s in the old Viking town of Birka, Sweden, the sex of the soldier was only recently discovered using DNA testing, the results of which were just published in the American Journal of Physical Anthropology.  

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The grave suggests that Viking wasn’t just some run-of-the-mill soldier, but was in fact a high-ranking general. Along with her remains, archaeologists uncovered a sword, an ax, a spear, some arrows, a knife, some shields, and two horses – the entire equipment get-up of a professional, high-ranking Viking officer.

Yeah, you read that right. This Lady Boss was buried with TWO HORSES. I’ve never even ridden a horse!

“Aside from the complete warrior equipment buried along with her… she had a board game in her lap, or more of a war-planning game used to try out battle tactics and strategies, which indicates she was a powerful military leader. She’s most likely planned, led and taken part in battles,” said Charlotte Hedenstierna-Jonson, an archaeologist at Uppsala University, per The Local.

Scientists long assumed that the remains belong to a man, but upon further inspection, it became clear that it just didn’t add up. Anna Kjellstrom, an osteologist at Stockholm University, noticed feminine qualities in the equipment when she first began studying them in 2016, such as thinner cheekbones and “typically feminine” hips.

Yup, there’s no doubt about it. This proves 100% that women can do anything men can do, and then some. I mean, I’ve only SEEN like 3 horses in my whole life, and that’s just when I’ve gotten on the wrong bus and ended up out in the country mad lost!

Dude Code demands that us dudes gotta applaud badass when we see it, and this is about as badass as it gets. Hats off, Mrs. Viking!