[MT. STERLING, KT] – Bad news for all of the pathetic losers out there who still eat Hot Pockets. Turns out they aren’t just stuffed with sadness and pepperoni. They might actually have glass and plastic in them too.
It’s bad enough that some sad sacks still have Hot Pockets in their freezers. But now they might actually kill you if they eat them? Hard to believe that things could get any worse for our nation’s losers.
The U.S. Department Of Agriculture has recalled more than 760,000 pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets sold nationwide due to the possible glass and plastic contamination. Nestle Foods produced the frozen 54 ounce packages of the product between November 13 and November 16. The frozen appetizers apparently have a 14-month shelf life – which is about twice as long as any relationship a Hot Pocket eater has ever had.
“The firm has received one report of a minor oral injury associated with consumption of this product. FSIS (Food Safety and Inspection Service) has received no additional reports of injury or illness from consumption of this product. Anyone concerned about an injury or illness should contact a healthcare provider,” the USDA said in a statement.
Neckbeards will be devastated. Mark another one in the “L” column for them. This is almost as bad as when they didn’t get asked to prom in High School.
Hot Pockets contain glass and plastic? Who knew!
The 54-oz carton packages being recalled contain 12 “Nestlé “Hot Pockets Brand Sandwiches: Premium Pepperoni Made with pork, chicken & beef pizza garlic buttery crust.” They also have a “Best Before Feb. 2022” date on the box. The boxes likely have the following codes reading: 0318544624, 0319544614, or 0320544614. Please check your freezer ASAP if you are a single nerd who mostly just plays video games.
This is just devastating news for folks who are lame enough to still eat Hot Pockets. Folks on social media were quick to share their thoughts.
This is truly devastating news, especially knowing who traditionally eats something like a Hot Pocket. Be on the lookout for our nation’s losers, everyone. They need us to look out for them more than ever.