Let’s Celebrate The 89th Birthday Of John Williams With Some Of His BIGGEST MISSES

by Tim K
john williams

John Williams is one hell of a legendary composer. This is the genius behind some of the most memorable scores in film history, including the iconic music of STAR WARS, JAWS, INDIANA JONES, JURASSIC PARK, HARRY POTTER, and dozens of others.

Is he great? Yes, of course. But does that mean his career has been perfect? Not by a long shot!

On this, the maestro’s 89th birthday, let’s run down some of John Williams’s biggest MISSED opportunities.

Here’s A Bunch Of Movies That John Williams Easily Could’ve Done The Score For But Didn’t (Big Mistake!)

1. Shallow Hal

Shallow Hal is an American film released in 2001 that follows Hal (Jack Black) on a quest to fall in love with overweight women after spending an afternoon in an elevator with Tony Robbins. Of course, the logline alone begs for a massive, beautiful score by the legendary John Williams, but alas, it does not have one. John Williams was too busy doing some other dumb shit, and so the soundtrack just has a bunch of songs by Cake and Neil Young instead. Passing on this movie was undoubtedly a major misstep by Williams, who maybe could’ve used hundreds of tubas or something to indicate to the audience whenever Hal was looking at a hot person who was actually overweight. That’s just one idea. John Williams probably could’ve had other, cooler ones, but we will never know.

2. Little Nicky

Little Nicky is all about Adam Sandler being a kind of devil living in New York City. It’s a film with heavy, dark undertones that asks big, meaty questions about the nature of good and evil, and with all that going for it, you just know a John Williams score would really make this puppy sing. Unfortunately, though, John Williams was MIA for the entirety of the Little Nicky experience. Instead of one of his iconic scores, the movie is filled with a hodgepodge of 80s Hair Metal and early 2000s Nu-Metal: P.O.D., Linkin Park, Motley Crue, Van Halen, etc. Does it kick ass? Sure, yes, of course. But could a John Williams score have been cool too? Definitely.

3. Fool’s Gold

Fool’s Gold is a movie about treasure. In that way, it’s really similar to ‘The Goonies,’ a film for which John Williams wrote an epic score. So why didn’t he run it back and do another treasure-themed song? Whatever the reason, it was a massive mistake. Kevin Hart is in ‘Fool’s Gold.’

Anyway, we could sit here all day and riff about movies that John Williams should’ve gotten involved in if we had time. It’s easy to think of these, but we just don’t have time right now. In conclusion, here’s to hoping John Williams has an excellent birthday! Thank you! Goodbye.