Major CATastrophe! Joe Exotic Will Not Be Receiving A Pardon

by Gorman

It’s a very sad day in the jungle for one, Mr. Joe Exotic. According to an article from Insider “The ‘Tiger King’ star Joe Exotic failed to secure a pardon as part of a clemency list released in President Donald Trump’s final hours in office.” That’s gotta be a rough blow for a businessman like Joe Exotic.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last year*, you know who Joe Exotic is. Joe was the subject of a Netflix documentary released last year called Tiger King. The documentary explores the bizarre world of Big Cat entertainment (entertainment involving large, dangerous animals.) Mr. Exotic is also a polygamist.

Exotic, whose real name is Joseph Maldonado-Passage, is serving a 22-year prison sentence. He was convicted of trying to murder his nemesis Carole Baskin, another Big Cat entrepreneur. He was also found guilty of several counts of animal abuse.

The Tiger King was expecting for a full pardon from the 45th President Of The United States. According to Mr. Exotic’s representation, he was incredibly confident that it would happen. He even had a limo waiting outside his jail in Texas to pick him up. Eric Love, his private investigator, claimed the first thing Mr. Exotic would want after leaving prison is “probably a McRib.” Additionally, he asked for a hair cut. Atta boy, Joe!

It’s a sad day for the Tiger King, but we’re willing to bet he has a few more tricks up his sleeve. I mean, this is the same guy who (allegedly) blew up an alligator habitat just to conceal evidence. If you ask us, that’s a true, blue American hero.

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*You may have, if you’ve been social distancing!

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